Devil Arts Offline
by Greatazuredragon
Summary: A series of Omakes and Side Stories pertaining to my story Devil Arts Online. In here I will put both silly ideas that couldn't make it into the main story but were too funny to completely pass up and side stories that while not directly affecting the main story would give it more depth.
1. Chapter 1 - Justice and Love

**Author's Notes:**

This will be a series of Omakes and Side Stories to my main story 'Devil Arts Online'.

In here I will put both silly ideas that couldn't make it into the main story but where too funny to completely pass up and side stories that while not directly affecting the main story would give it more depth.

I'm open to suggestions regarding this one, meaning that if you have an idea for an Omake or side story that you would like to read, send it to me either through a review or PM and if I believe it's doable I will notify you and put it into a list to work on it when I have the time.

I already have a few ideas for this compilation, like: Justice and Love Shall Always Win, a side story depicting Mil-tan's adventures in ALO; Familiar Mayhem, that will be a series of Omakes about possible familiars that could have appeared on chapter seven; and PMH (Psycho Mother Hen), another side story that will portrait Argo's situation as she attempted to escape her overprotective mother well intentioned house arrest as she tried to reach the human world to recruit Kirito and Asuna during the canon Fairy Dance arc.

A fair warning, this will have irregular updates since I'll remain focusing on the main story. Unlike DAO that has monthly updates I'll update this as the chapters get ready, meaning the time between chapters will vary and be dependent of circumstances.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Justice and Love Shall Always Win**

"The time has come-nyou!" The excited shout came from the closed windows of an apparently ordinary house, bright pink curtains blocking its interior from the outside world.

Inside a disturbingly pink room, filled to the brim with all forms of limited edition merchandise from dozen of magical-girls series, stood an impressive sight.

A massive form towered in the center of the room, arms with muscles that could crush rocks, large fists that looked capable of slaying tigers with a single punch and bulging muscles that could probably stop bullets completed the figure intimidating appearance…

Alongside a neon pink tutu, a formfitting white shirt far too small for _her_ size, knee length white boots, white elbow long gloves with pink highlights and a cute pink ribbon atop the figures black hair.

"Despite all past attempts, the doubt and denial granted to my dream from gods and angels, spirits and magicians alike, Mil-tan will not be defeated-nyou!"

The figure said twirling in place before clasping _her_ hands together and raising them towards _her_ heart, sparks shining on the background as _she_ completed the pose.

None had accepted _her_ dream, saying it was impossible, that it simply could not be done, that it was a violation to the very rules of the universe!

But _she_ refused to accept defeat, _her_ dream would come true! _She_ knew it in the depths of _her_ very soul! For it was the path of justice and love!

_She_ had previously done something _she_ still had some doubts about; contacting what should be one of _her_ sworn enemies in order to accomplish _her_ wish. But _she_ couldn't deny that the enthusiasm the young Devil had shown upon meeting _her_ and hearing _her_ wish was extremely promising.

Why, the speed at which he had left _her_ home showed he couldn't wait to start researching for a way to complete _her_ wish! It filled _her_ heart with hope to see such a hardworking young man, even if he was a Devil.

'_Enough time has passed-nyou; it is time to see how my new friend is doing on the quest to allow me to thrive on my chosen path-nyou!'_ _She_ thought raising a small pamphlet depicting a magical circle on its center. _'Destiny awaits-nyou! To fight off evil and injustice! To be a guardian of love and happiness! To be a magical-girl-nyou!'_

From the spot on the door _she_ watched as a crimson light filled the entire room, two figures appearing from amidst the magical-circle that had appeared on the floor.

Her new Devil friend had answered to _her_ summons being accompanied by a new face, probably someone he had chosen to aid him in the task at hand, the possibility that _her_ wish was about to be granted filling _her_ eyes with hope.

"Issei-kun I'm so happy to see you again-nyou." Mil-tan cheerfully exclaimed, a sparkly look in _her_ eyes and holding both hands clasped near _her_ heart and one leg raised in a classical magical girl pose. "Mil-tan is so glad you could come-nyou."

_She_ watched as Issei and his companion looked at _her_, a brief look of surprise quickly passing through the latter's face before being quickly replaced by a serene smile, while Issei keep staring straight at _her_ with unblinking eyes, his mouth slightly open as if in shock.

"We will have such a marvelous time together-nyou." _She_ exclaimed as the sparkles reappeared on the background.

Upon hearing _her_ words Issei's mouth opened completely as if releasing a silent scream originating from the very depths of his soul, before crumbling to the floor hugging his knees.

'_Issei-kun is so excitable-nyou.'_ _She_ cheerfully thought, looking from _her_ friend to his companion slightly worried expression as he watched Issei irresponsive form.

* * *

"So your wish is to be turned into a magical-girl?" Kirito asked, calmly watching the strange client in front of him.

He would admit he was slightly worried about Issei current situation, as his fellow Peerage member had yet to move from his spot on the floor, but he had an assignment to do, later he would see what was wrong with him, for now he would focus in the reason he was here.

"Exactly-nyou!" Mil-tan cheerfully exclaimed while twirling in place. "For fighting for love and justice is Mil-tan's destiny-nyou!"

"Very well, just let me check the price of your wish." He calmly replied while opening his phone, starting the wish app Rias had showed him earlier only half paying attention to the client's antics, he had seen far stranger things during his time in SAO after-all.

"It seems the price for your wish is your life and soul…" Kirito remorsefully explained, even if the price really didn't surprise him that much, it probably would have to break a lot of natural laws to be granted after-all.

"It can't be-nyou!" Mil-tan screamed falling to _her_ knees with _her_ arms crossed before _her_ chest in apparent despair. "Mil-tan has to be a magical-girl-nyou!" _She_ shouted as _she_ appeared to be getting ready to cry.

Using his experience with dealing with strange, unusual and disturbing sights he had acquired on floor sixth six of SAO Kirito ignored the client's antics as he searched for a solution to the problem at hand, even if his brain stubbornly kept drawing parallels between the client and some of the monsters from the floor the Clearers had aptly named 'Pink Hell'.

Fighting down a shudder at some of the more traumatic memories from that particular floor he focused on the problem at hand.

The price was incompatible with what the client was willing to pay for the wish; normally that would mean the quest would automatically fail. But Rias had granted this quest for him as a way to check his skills and abilities, he would not let her down after saving Asuna and he simply refused to fail his very first quest upon turning into a Devil.

As he searched for an answer an odd idea occurred to him. Mil-tan desired with all _her_ being to be a magical-girl, to the point that reality had little impact on _her_ life.

'_It's almost as if she is LARPing, only that for what I can tell she has almost no knowledge about video games.' _He thought looking at the costume _she_ was wearing with absolute normalcy. _'There is no way to grant her wish in this reality, but what about in virtual reality?'_

As soon as the thought crossed his mind he typed the altered wish into the app, the far more normal price making a small smile appear on his face.

"Mil-tan, I believe it's possible for us to reach a compromise that will allow you to be one step closer to your dream." He calmly said, only his years of dealing with surprise attacks allowing him to retain his calm when Mil-tan appeared right in front of him in a sudden burst of speed, _her_ eyes literally sparkling with hope.

"What is it-nyou?" _She_ asked holding his hands with _her_ own in a steel grip.

"What do you know about AmuSpheres and VRMMRPGs?" He calmly asked, idly noting that if it wasn't for his [Rook] strength his hands would probably be broken by this point due to the strength of _her_ grip.

* * *

Mil-tan carefully looked at the small tiara like helmet Kirito-kun had provided _her_.

While _she_ hadn't fully understood all the things he had said about it the bare bones were extremely clear and filled _her_ with hope.

The object would allow _her_ to enter into a dream world where _she_ would finally be a magical-girl! A world where _she_ could fight evil with the power of love! A world where _she_ could finally fulfill _her_ destiny!

"Beware evil doers! The time of destiny is upon us-nyou!" _She_ said raising the helmet in the air as if it was a priceless treasure, sparks enveloping the background.

"Mil-tan shall achieve _her_ goal no matter what, for justice and love shall always win-nyou!" S_he_ declared, putting the helmet on and laying down into _her_ pink bed.

"Link start-nyou!"

And so began the adventures of Magical-girl Mil-tan on Alfheim.

* * *

This silly little idea lodged itself in my mind in chapter two and blossomed when Mil-tan reapered in chapter eight, and now it's finally taking form.

This side story will follow magical-girl Mil-tan adventures and misadventures on the world of Alfheim. Her quest and interactions with that world and its inhabitants eventually leading to meeting characters from the original SAO novels, like Lady Sakuya and General Eugene.

Hope you enjoyed this little piece, please review before leaving.


	2. Chapter 2 - PMH

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, I must say that the reaction to the first chapter of 'Justice and Love Shall Always Win' was better than I expected and I'm very happy to see that you like the idea of seeing Mil-tan spreading chaos in Alfhein as much as I do.

Thirdly, I would also like to thank all those who contributed with ideas for this compilation. Your suggestions lead to four Omakes that are now just begging me to write them.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**PMH (Psycho Mother Hen)**

"A pleasure doing business with you, please feel free to contact me if you ever need my services again." Argo cheerfully exclaimed, completely ignoring the other player grumbling about unfair prices and know it all 'Rats'.

Turning around to leave the alley where the transaction had took place she entered the busy side streets that littered the entirety of Algade on floor fifty, Aincrad's second largest city up to date.

'_Wonder if this will change after the current raid is over and floor seventy six opens.'_ She inwardly mused.

At that thought Argo couldn't help herself and looked up, a sudden pang of worry entering her heart.

She knew that at this very moment some of the extremely few people she could call friends were risking their lives, battling a beast of overwhelming power in order to bring them all a step closer to freedom, and that due to the unique nature of the Boss room, she had been unable to acquire any kind of information to help them.

'_You lot better stay safe, or I'm going to be seriously angry.'_ She grimly thought while staring at the floor ceiling high above.

But before she could keep thinking about the risks the Clearers were indubitably facing in the raid against the Floor Boss her train of thought was brought to a halt by an unexpected system announcement.

Looking at the screen that was floating in front of her, she could feel astonishment filling her entire being, as her eyes stayed fixed on the message that had appeared.

"Game cleared, initiating players release."

Blinking her eyes she reread the message, as if doubting what she had just seen, before a huge grin spread throughout her face.

What she had just read was a impossibility, the Clearers where nowhere near reaching the hundredth floor of the floating castle in order to clear it, and yet there was no way to confuse the message before her, the distant sound of players being forcible teleported one after the other proving the truth of the announcement.

The game had been cleared. She didn't know how, she didn't know why, but even if she had no concrete proof about it, she knew perfectly well who had done it.

"Truly impressive Kii-bou, I'll be looking forward to meeting you on the other side." She said with her smile firmly into place as she stared into the ceiling, as if trying to see the floor where the 'Beater' had just accomplished the impossible.

With one final gaze at the now empty street she was standing her avatar was teleported away, smile firmly into place as she was released from Aincrad.

* * *

Slowly blinking her eyes Tsukino Dantalion, also known as Argo 'The Rat', stared at the white ceiling above her prone form, a small smile playing on her lips upon this final proof that the game had been cleared.

Removing her Nervegear, she pushed her body upwards into a sitting position so she could better take in her surroundings.

Looking around, she had a split second to take in the lavishly furnished room and the medical machines spread around the bed she had been laying before her sight was blocked by the sudden appearance of someone trying to squeeze the life out of her.

"You are back! Oh my dear Tsukino, you don't know how worried I was! You are never leaving my sight again!" A familiar, soft, musical voice cheerfully exclaimed from somewhere above her as a pair of deceptively small arms kept hugging her with enough force to easily dent a steel beam.

"Mother… can't breathe…" She finally managed to mumble, promptly taking huge gulps of air as her mother arms immediately retreated.

Looking to the side of her bed Argo smiled upon seeing the beaming face of a beautiful woman with brown eyes and curly auburn hair, a face she hadn't seen in almost two years, her mother.

"Hi mom, I'm back." She half joked half stated, being promptly enveloped in another bone crunching hug for her words.

Even as she once again protested about her body's need of oxygen for its continue survival, Argo couldn't help the smile that was on her face as she listened to her mother talking about inconsequential things while holding her in her strong arms.

It was good to be home.

* * *

After almost an hour of being cuddled and questioned by her mother, Argo couldn't fight down a small sight of relief when she stormed off the room saying she was going to personally tell her father that the entire incident was over.

While she truly loved her mother and wouldn't trade her for anything she had nearly forgotten that she was the source of her own stubborn and overbearing nature. Being suddenly reminded of that fact as her mother stonewalled any of her attempts of leaving her bed during a burst of over protectiveness and motherly worry had been a trying experience.

'_Mother truly is a force of nature._' She thought with a smile as she stared out the window.

But her smile was erased when a pair of fingers reached to grab her cheek and squeezed.

"It's just a harmless pastime, she said, it's just a little indulgence, she said." A sweet voice said from right next to her, as the owner of the voice twisted her cheeks a little more.

Trying to pry off the twisting fingers that were connected to her left cheek, Argo turned around to see a beautiful girl around her age sporting long light red hair giving her a fanged smirk.

"The next time you decide to try anything new, no matter if you think it's absolutely harmless or whatever, I'm going with you so I can keep you out of trouble. Do you understand Tsukino-sama?" Megumi Hikari, Argo's [Queen] and only Peerage member asked, giving a final twist to her cheek for good measure and only releasing it when Argo started to frantically nod her agreement.

"Ouch, was that really necessary Hikari?" Argo sullenly asked while rubbing her face.

"Considering the fact you just spent nearly two years in a death-trap without any kind of support? Yes." She seriously answered, worry clear in her eyes.

"Your family was very confident that they could reverse the damage the EMP would cause should the worse happen, but it wasn't a certainty." She continued in a soft voice. "Please, don't worry me like that again, Tsukino-sama."

"I'm sorry to have worried you Hikari." Argo said, reaching forward to hold her [Queen's] hand reassuringly. "I promise you I won't do anything without you right by my side, okay?"

"At least it wasn't a complete waste of time, I got a lot of ideas I want to try out thanks to SAO, not to mention that if everything goes well, you won't have to be the only member of my Peerage for much longer." She said, excitement clear in her voice and her smile slowly returning to her face upon seeing the curious look in Hikari's eyes.

"I met some quite remarkable warriors during the game and I'm quite sure they would make wonderful Devils, so now we just have to go to the human world and convince them to join us!" She chirped happily.

Megumi stared at her wonderingly for a moment, before a small smirk started to appear on her face.

"You do realize your mother will not let you out of her sights or away from any heavily defended area anytime soon right?" She asked, a single eyebrow raised questioningly and her smirk firmly on her lips, as if saying she knew something Argo didn't.

"She is completely in overprotective mode right now and considering she usually already acts as a mother hen..." She trailed of meaningfully.

Taking a moment to consider it, Argo realized Hikari was probably right, after such a scare her mother would want her nearby for a while until she was reassured nothing would happen.

_'Yes, it's probably better to give mother a couple of weeks to calm down.'_ Argo decided after considering possible plans of action. _'It will also have the benefit of allowing Kii-bou, Aa-chan and the others time to gather their bearings before I offer them a place in my Peerage.'_

"I guess you are right, best to give her some time to calm down. I'll probably ask about permission to go to the human world after a week or two." She said with a nod.

Hikari's smile grew even wider upon hearing those words, the knowing look she could see in her [Queen's] eyes making a hint of dread to appear in her stomach.

"Hikari what is it you are not telling me?" Argo asked as she tried to analyze the situation for any hint of the source of Hikari's amusement.

"As I already said, your mother's overprotective instincts are kind of in overdrive at the moment." She cheerfully said while gesturing to the window.

Moving towards the window Argo looked outside, the sight of the Dantalion's ancient compound filling her view. Scanning the area she noticed there were far more guards patrolling than she remembered.

Thinking that was what Hikari had been hinting about she started to turn around, already planning how to best breach the subject of the trip to the human world to her family, for while a clear show of worry, the increased patrols were hardly earth-shattering.

But as she was about to turn away completely from the window a subtle purple light at the edges of the compound draw her attention. Looking closely she noticed the subtle purple shine that was completely encompassing the outer walls of the ancestral home of the Dantalion's.

Looking upwards she saw that the mist-like purple barrier was rising high above the ground in a dome like fashion, completely encompassing the area.

"The Siege Wards…?" She softly asked, disbelief clear in her voice as she recognized the famous defensive enchantment that she had read in her family tomes.

A massive spell matrix which had been created by the founder of her line and was improved and strengthened by every new clan head ever since, a barrier capable of blocking all entry into the compound and rumored to be strong enough to block even the might of the Great Satans themselves.

"Why are the Siege Wards up?!" She exclaimed in disbelief, quickly turning around to face her smug looking [Queen]. "They haven't been used ever since the Great War ended!"

"As I said, your mother might be _slightly_ overprotective at the moment." Hikari nonchalantly replied, amusement clear in her voice.

Ignoring her [Queen's] amusement for the moment Argo looked back at the heavily guarded compound before stopping at the sight of her family's fabled ultimate defense.

Eyes fixed at the purple mist that was completely cutting the compound from the rest of the universe, a single thought crossed her mind.

'_This might be a problem.'_

* * *

This is my second Side-story PMH (Psycho Mother Hen).

It will show Argo's misadventures as she attempts to escape the heavily guarded Dantalion compound in order to reach the other SAO survivors in the human world as her _slightly_ overprotective mother seeks to keep her inside where she knows it's safe.

In a fashion you could say that latter chapters of this side story will be a fantasy parody of 'Mission Impossible' and other spy movies, as Argo and Hikari will have to bypass the heavily guarded and enchanted defenses of the compound as they try to escape.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	3. Chapter 3 - Familiar Mayhem

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, this will be my first Omake, Familiar Mayhem; it will be a series of Omakes which will depict all the possible absurd and amusing critters that could have popped up in the Familiar Forest in chapter seven. I already have some funny ideas for this, but feel free to suggest appearances for it.

Thirdly, I would like to make an important distinction regarding Devil Arts Offline; this collection is made of both Side-stories and Omakes. The Omakes will have absolutely no connection to the main story, but the Side-stories will, so feel free to consider what happens in the Side-stories to have happened off-screen in the main story.

To prevent confusion I will clearly label the Omakes in the title of the chapter, so no worries.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Omake: Familiar Mayhem**

In a deep forest covered by shadows with nothing but a few pale rays of crimson moonlight filtering trough the giant trees all around them to give them light Kirito searched for the source of the noise Asuna had heard.

'_This place really lives up to its name; it feels like something could pop up at any moment.' _He idly thought as he moved around one of the many giant trees that composed most of the Familiar Forest.

"Kirito look!" Asuna called, pointing at a small hollow on a tree where a little fox was looking at them curiously.

Or at least it resembled a fox. The fact that parts of its body kept appearing and disappearing continuously, as if it was not fully there, was a dead giveaway that it was no normal fox.

"It's adorable." Asuna said getting closer to the curious looking fox.

"It kind of reminds me of the 'Cheshire Cat' from 'Alice in Wonderland'." Kirito said upon seeing nearly its entire body disappearing for a moment, leaving only its curious eyes floating there for an instant.

Getting even closer, Asuna tried to pet it, but much to their surprise her hand passed through the fox like it was made of mist.

But before either of them could say anything about the strange phenomenon, a loud thumping sound reverberated through the forest, immediately bringing them to alert as they searched their surroundings for the origin of the noise.

It was a heavy rhythmic sound, as if something incredibly large walking through the moonlit forest.

Looking around searching for the source of the noise Kirito noticed a small pond nearby, it's water wavering and rolling with each subsequent thump, the vibrations it revealed demonstrating the massive weight of whatever creature that was heading towards them.

Trading a meaningful look with each other they positioned themselves side by side, taking stances that would allow them to fight or flee at a moment's notice if it was proven necessary.

'_Whatever this is, it's massive.'_ Kirito idly thought, eyes scanning the shadowed trees as the thumping sound grew louder and louder, until he started to feel his very bones vibrating with each new step.

Finally with a final loud cracking sound, heralding the creature's appearance as it uprooted a large centenary tree with frightening ease, they watched the gargantuan behemoth.

It was a massive demon-like monster, over nine feet tall, with dark blue skin, a tail resembling a cobra with venom dripping from its fangs, goat like horns on its head and a pair of crimson gleaming eyes.

Turning its head towards the duo, its gleaming eyes apparently locking into their surprised forms, the creature released a bestial roar. A roar that carried within it the darkness and fear of ages long past, a past where mankind struggled against the predators of the wilderness in an eternal battle for survival, the kind of roar that could drop mighty warriors to their knees and force even the bravest of hunters to seek cover and hide.

Oddly enough neither of the creature's intended prey appeared even slightly affected by the primordial roar it had released.

Exchanging a slightly exasperated look with his wife, who he noted had a very faint annoyed twitch on one of her eyebrows, Kirito silently conveyed his intentions.

Upon receiving a small nod of consent he turned to the towering behemoth, which was doing a fairly good job at looking confused due to the uncommon lack of fear and screaming it was more used to receive upon being spotted.

'_Well one thing I have to respect Kayaba for, it seems he really researched mythology extensively in order to create SAO.'_ Kirito idly thought as he prepared himself to take out the massive creature… again.

With a final roar the Gleam-eyes charged forward with speed that belittle his massive size and weight, being immediately meet at the halfway point by two blurs, one black and one white.

Ducking under a massive clawed strike and immediately delivering a punishing blow to the behemoth's chest as Asuna swiftly climbed the creatures back to attack its head, Kirito couldn't fight down a smile from forming on his face.

A nine feet tall Floor Boss would make a truly awesome familiar after all.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I remember some reviewers saying they expected the Gleam-eyes appearing on chapter seven, that eventually made me start imagining the scene which ultimately leads us here to this Omake.

And then for some reason the scene from Jurasic Park with the water rippling in the cup simply would not leave my mind, so I went with it since after all, it's a classic.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	4. Chapter 4 - PMH II

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, happy April fool's day!

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**PMH ****(Psycho Mother Hen)**** II**

Three weeks had passed since her awakening and the abrupt end of SAO. Three weeks of reconnecting with her family and researching everything they had discovered about the incident and what had changed in the Underworld during her imprisonment.

Three weeks gladly enduring her mother's fussing in order to calm her down and prepare her for the proposition Argo was hoping to make.

And so, with confidence and determination Argo explained her request and how it was imperative that she be in the human world in order to invite her SAO friends into her Peerage.

She made sure that her speech was calm and rational; pointing all the logical reasons guaranteeing it was both necessary and as riskless as possible.

In hindsight, her mother's reaction was completely expected.

"Absolutely not!" She firmly declared, a worried expression clear in her eyes.

"Ever since both the Sitri and the Gremory heiresses moved into that country, it has become a literal hot-spot for trouble! If the reports can be trusted this very week the Gremory girl had an altercation with a group of low ranked fallen, there is no way you are going there!"

"But mother! The fact they are there makes it even more important that I go immediately! What if they recruit my friends into their Peerages?" Argo pleaded even though the sinking feeling in her stomach told her it was fruitless.

"I'm sorry darling." Her mother replied with a sad look. "I understand that you are eager to meet these warriors you befriended, and I'm really happy you are finally socializing with others besides Hikari-chan."

"But the simple fact is that you are not going to go gallivanting into the human world without first establishing a proper foothold and secure fall back areas." She continued, fierce determination radiating out of her in waves. "I shall personally look to that and once a proper outpost has been secured you shall be able to seek your friends with little risk."

"But that could take over a month!" Argo said in defeat, knowing she wouldn't be able to change her mother's mind.

"Indeed, but it's for the best. Now if you excuse me, the third scout party has just returned and I would like to confirm no interlopers have entered our land."

Looking as her mother hurried to the door to receive the newest report from the heavy patrols she had placed the entire land of the Dantalion under, Argo slumped in defeat.

"I'm sorry about this Tsukino-chan." Her father, a sharply dressed, slim built, black haired Devil, said adjusting his small glasses, which Argo was fairly certain had no other purpose than a fashion statement.

"I'll try to calm you mother down so you can go sooner, but you know how she can be at times." He said with a tinge of fondness, messing with her hair before going outside as well.

"That went well." Hikari said after a while, sarcasm dripping from her words. "So now what, Tsukino-sama?"

"It's quite simple Hikari." She said raising her head to look her [Queen] into the eyes, a fierce determination clear in her posture. "There is simply no way a trouble magnet like Kirito is going to be able to live normally for over a month while mother makes her preparations."

"With his luck it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if he literally stumbles into the supernatural due to some reason or another. We simply have no time to lose." She affirmed with certainty.

"So what's the plan?" Hikari asked, a mischievous smile appearing on her face.

"As a wise man once said, sometimes is better to beg for forgiveness, than to ask for permission." She simply replied, a mischievous smile of her own entering her determined features.

* * *

"Alright, here is the situation." Argo said turning to face Hikari, a series of blueprints displayed at a table, the low hum of a privacy shield guarantying no one would hear them as they talked inside her room.

"The only way to control the siege-wards is trough the central matrix interface, which is nested in a secure vault."

"The vault is situated right in the center of the compound, lodge deep below, right into the very bedrock that serves as the foundation of the entire mansion, with extensive sensor arrays all around its triply reinforced walls that can detect any attempt of approaching it, regardless if it be by magical or mundane means."

"The only way to access it is through this elevator, which in turn, leads to a long corridor that ends in the vault doors." She said pointing to a specific area in the second floor of the manor, a determined look in her eyes.

"First we have to get inside the elevator shaft that leads to the secure level where the central matrix is hosted. In order to do that, an eight digit code, that is changed daily, and an access card, whose only copies can be found with the chief of security or my parents, is necessary."

"Then to operate the elevator itself a palm scan is needed alongside voice print identification, both which are crosschecked in real time by the main security officers lodged at the central guardhouse in the ground floor." She continued, listing the growing number of obstacles placed on their path.

"The elevator shaft itself is lined with thaumic detection sensors as well as motion detection arrays, linked to a series of spell inhibition matrixes that create a powerful magic nullifying field inside it. The entire thing is also rigged to enter complete lockdown at the smallest sign of tampering."

"Once we get out of the shaft we have to slip by the corridor, which is guarded by four six feet tall enchanted golem sentries, whose destruction will result in the immediate collapse of the entire corridor by detonation of charges specifically placed in key points, completely isolating the vault with tons of rock. Not to mention even more spell inhibition matrixes located on the walls." She said in a grave manner, pointing to a blueprint showing the corridor in question.

"At the end of the corridor lays the vault door, sixty inches of treated orichalcum, covered with extensive defensive arrays and endurance seals. It's also fitted with the most advanced recognition systems ever devised by Devil-kind, using an complete energy scan that reaches down to the very genetic level in order to confirm the identity of the one opening it."

"So in a nutshell what you are saying is this." Hikari said interrupting her [King's] extensive explanations of the protections around the access point to the ward matrix.

"That in order to get there we need to: Get a code and access card, which we don't have; Fool a voice and palm scanner checked by guards located in a whole different are of the compound; Fight a group of enchanted golems, which we can't destroy; and bypass an ridiculously reinforced door featuring an stupidly advanced identification system. Is that right?" The red-headed [Queen] calmly asked, as if merely commenting about a plan to take a walk in the gardens.

"Yeah, pretty much." Argo acknowledged with a nod, staring curiously at the nonchalant attitude Hikari was sporting.

"Alright, I say we forget all this mumble jumbo and go straight to the vault trough the ventilation shafts!" She cheerfully declared, a beaming smile on her face as she offered a sagely nod to her perplexed looking [King].

"Don't be ridiculous!" Argo shouted, a complete lack of amusement clear on her face. "We are talking about one of the most heavily defended locations of my family! Do you truly believe there would be such a glaring weakness as an air duct leading straight there!"

"Of course, after all, it always works in the movies." Hikari nonchalantly replied, her grin growing even larger as she watched Argo's opening and closing her mouth without making a single sound, sheer incredulity robbing her of words.

* * *

"This is an absolute outrage!" Argo hissed, a very dangerous glint shining inside her eyes. "Once this is over I will personally hunt down whoever was responsible for this and make them wish they had been found by a Seraph first!"

"It's not that bad. The sealing at the entrance was incredibly well done and the sensor arrays and laser grids are extremely tricky to bypass." Hikari answered, attempting to mollify her clearly infuriated friend while simultaneously keeping up a spell designed to scan for magical wards.

"That is not the point!" She firmly replied as she skillfully dismantled a series of spells that were intended to alert the guards in the case of anything heavier than a speck of dust approaching them. "Who in their right mind creates a less defended alternate route into a heavily fortified area?!"

"People need to breathe after all Tsukino-sama." Hikari cheerfully teased as she followed her fuming [King] down a corner of the ventilation shaft they were traversing in route to the vault.

"Nonsense! An air purification spell would be more than enough to keep the air completely breathable! And even if this system predates that particular spell, which I seriously doubt is the case, why would any being with any modicum of intelligent thought build a ventilation system large enough for people to fit inside?!" She bellowed in rage, clearly taking this little oversight into the vault defenses as a personal offense to her family's honor.

"I told you it would work." Hikari cheerfully teased, grinning even harder at the long string of profanities that were Argo's response.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I love spy movies like Mission Impossible, but the fact that ventilation ducts are large enough for grown man to get inside has always been something that I find completely absurd. Not to mention that they always lead to heavily secure areas, while having almost negligible defenses of their own.

So that was my inspiration for this chapter, the idea of a truly staggering amount of highly challenging obstacles and security measures, being rendered utterly pointless by a measly ventilation shaft.

I also thought that it was oddly fitting for April fool's day. The building tension of the ever larger list of defenses, growing and growing, only to lead to a magnificent anticlimax!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	5. Chapter 5 - Dragon Tamer

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, a special thanks to **tomy98** who suggested the original idea which lead to this Omake.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Omake: Dragon Tamer**

The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, not a single cloud could be seen in the sky, by all accounts it was a beautiful day.

And yet despite the perfect weather Rias Gremory, a high-class Devil and heiress to the Gremory clan, found herself inside the Occult Research Club, massaging her forehead in the vain attempt of stopping the current headache she was experiencing.

"Fifteen notices of complain this week alone, fifteen Ise-kun! Three from the Tennis club, five from the Swimming club, six from the Kendo club and one from Sona herself in the name of the Student Council!" Rias said in exasperation, giving the sheepish looking [Pawn] an unamused glare. "And it's still Wednesday!"

"It's not my fault!" Issei quickly said, attempting to explain his actions. "It's just that Matsuda found a new peeping hole into the swimming pool and then he invited me and Motohama to check it out, and then Motohama heard a rumor that the Kendo club had a new cute member so we had to see if that was true, and then we found out the Tennis club had a new uniform and…"

"I get the picture Ise-kun, you can stop." She said, exhaling in frustration.

'_Why does he do this? Asia is already dragging him on dates and I literally sleep in the same bed with him! How much more obvious do we have to be?!'_ She thought in frustration, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"While I originally had some doubts about this idea due to the one who offered it, Sona simply will not allow me to sweep these incidents under the rug unless I assure her something is being done." She said giving her dear [Pawn] a sympathetic smile, much to his consternation.

"It was pointed to me that Ddraig may be partly to blame about your out of control hormones, since Dragons are primarily creatures of instinct and that could be affecting you." She calmly explained, noticing Issei had gained a faraway look, indicating he was probably speaking with the Crimson Emperor.

'_At least he stopped doing so out loud.'_ She mused, a small smile on her face as she remembered the scene where Issei had started to bellow and discuss with Ddraig in the middle of the school grounds.

"Ddraig says he refuses to take any blame regarding this situation, and that he is not responsible for my perverted actions." Issei said grudgingly after a few moments. "The traitor, don't know why he would say that, Oppai are awesome!"

"Regardless, something must be done." Rias said, choosing to ignore the last part of his statement. "And therefore, following a suggestion from the Dantalion heiress, I have arranged for you to receive some help from outside the Peerage in controlling your dragon instincts."

"Wait, do you mean Argo?" He asked, a tinge of trepidation entering his voice.

"Indeed, she has stated her absolute trust in this person's skills." Rias calmly reassured, a small smile appearing on her face.

And then, as if waiting for those very words to be spoken, the doors to the club room opened, a small brown haired figure wearing the school uniform entered the room with a small winged creature covered in blue feathers resting on her shoulder and a placid smile on her face.

"Ise-kun, allow me to introduce you to Silica, the 'Dragon Tamer'." She said as her smile took a definitive turn towards the impish. "I trust you will respect and listen to her advice."

* * *

'_I don't know why Buchou was so insistent about this; I mean is not like it's a problem.' _Issei thought wonderingly, remembering the nearly hour long lecture the cute dragon tamer had subject him about proper behavior under Buchou's stern gaze.

**[Sorry to disagree partner, but believe me, from an outside perspective, it IS a problem.]** Ddraig happily interjected; eager to see how this new situation would develop.

'_It's not a problem! Oppai can never be a problem! I'm merely appreciating the beauties of the world, there is nothing wrong with that!'_ He replied resolutely, conviction welling in his heart.

'_But you and Buchou make it look like I'm obsessive or something.'_ He finished his speech with a solemn nod.

**[Quid est demonstratum, QED, enough said.] **Ddraig grumbled in an interesting mix of annoyance, disbelief and pure amusement.

'_What do you mean?'_ He asked in confusion.

**[…You do realize you are outside the Gym's changing room peeking at the Kendo club…right?]**

'_Yes? And your point is?'_ He asked, even more confused how that related with anything.

**[…Apparently I don't have one, please continue.]** Ddraig mirthfully replied while shaking his head in utter bemusement.

'_Will do. You know Ddraig, sometimes you are really weird.'_

Ignoring the small chuckles his titanic lodger was making he turned back to the noble purpose he had been doing, only to be stopped by a sudden bump to his head.

"Issei-san I can't believe you are doing this, I'm really disappointed at you." A stern though young voice said from behind him.

"Silica? What are you doing here?" He asked while absently rubbing the top of his head.

**[More importantly, did she just whack you with a rolled up newspaper?] ** The Crimson Dragon Emperor interjected, a clear tone of bemused disbelief on his words.

Upon hearing Ddraig's words Issei noticed that she indeed had a rolled up newspaper on her hand, indicating that it was the most likely culprit regarding the bump he had received.

'_I think so…'_ He musingly replied, only to be once again interrupted by a newspaper blow to his head.

"Stop ignoring me Issei-san, Rias entrusted me with helping you with dealing with your less than stellar actions and I intend to do so."

"There is nothing wrong with my actions! To appreciate the beauty of the world, one must never be stopped from such a noble goal!" He said in a grand manner, head held high. "I shall not be stopped, for my dreams are invincible! Oppai is power and it cannot be defeated!"

His grandiose speech was brought to a halt by a new whack to the top of his head, courtesy of a very unimpressed looking Silica.

"Regardless of the validity of your statement we have to stop your peeping habits." She calmly replied, a tranquil tone entering her voice as if she was speaking to a wary animal. "So will you listen? Or do I have to get the squirt bottle?"

'_Squirt bottle…?'_ He thought in befuddlement.

**[You know partner, ever since joining you I had a very high number of new first's… and this is definitely entering the top of the list… You really are a very interesting being.]** Ddraig mused cheerfully, its tone of voice indicating he would dearly love a bag of popcorn to eat as he watched the unfolding show.

* * *

"I still don't know how you convinced me this was a good idea." Rias Gremory idly said as she watched the ongoing situation regarding the two [Pawns] from the top of the school building.

"Probably a combination of having an excuse to appease Sona that something is being done, frustration of your [Pawn] hardheaded selective blindness regarding females that are interested in him, and some morbid curiosity thrown in for good measure." Tsukino Dantalion, also known as Argo 'The Rat', happily replied, a huge grin on her face.

"You are a very bad influence, Argo-san." Rias replied, fighting down a small laugh upon noticing Silica removing a squirt bottle from her belt and proceeding to spray Issei despite his sputtering protests.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Was the unconvincing reply given by the Dantalion heiress.

"Not to mention that, besides the amusement factor of the current situation." She said meaningfully, her grin growing to a size that would make the Chesire Cat proud. "I actually give this fifty fifty odds of actually working."

The proud declaration alongside the sight of Issei starting to run away while being chased by a young girl armed with a squirt bottle was too much for Rias, as she released a deep belly laugh.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

This funny little idea was brought to me by **tomy98** in a PM in which he proposed that Rias upon hearing about Silica Dragon Tamer status would ask her to try and tame Issei perverted-ness.

The idea was very good in my opinion so I proceeded to turn it into this Omake, and this was the end result.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	6. Chapter 6 - Justice and Love II

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, this chapter will continue Mil-tan's adventure in Alfheim and I must say that I'm very pleased with it.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Justice and Love Shall Always Win II**

'_This is just like my luck.'_ Recon, warrior of the Sylphs, grimly thought while running as fast as he could, nimbly dodging the gigantic trees that decorated the forest area he had been exploring.

'_First Leafa joins another party, then that quest regarding the Forest Temple turns out to be a bust and now this…'_ He continued in annoyance, jumping to the side and rolling away from the great fireball that was thrown his way.

Making sure not to make a discernible pattern regarding his evasions he continued his mad rush, avoiding the raining fireballs while attempting to either lose his pursuers or keep ahead long enough for his flight meter to fill up so he could try and escape into the skies.

"You got to be kidding me!" He exclaimed in annoyance while skidding to a halt, a noticeable eye twitch appearing on his face as he gazed at the massive rock formation blocking his path.

Quickly looking around he immediately confirmed that the nearly twenty feet tall rock outcrop extended both ways for the whole extension of the clearing, effectively walling him in for his pursuers.

"Well guess this is it…" He quietly mumbled, a look of resigned determination entering his face as he turned around while drawing his long dagger, planning to take as many opponents with him as he could before finally falling.

The green haired Sylph considered himself to be a fairly skillful player, a master dagger user and accomplished mage. He knew he could take down even slightly unfair odds and win if he was careful and planed things right.

But against nine enemies, eight Salamanders and one Sylph, he had no illusions regarding his chances of survival. For while his hooded long sleeved green cardigan had some very nice stats for a light weight armor, he knew that the firepower a whole Salamander hunting party could bring to bear would overpower it in instants.

"So the little rat has finally nowhere else to run, does he?" An arrogant voice said from the tress as a tall green haired Sylph entered the clearing, a long green cloak covering his silver armor and a golden circlet resting on his forehead.

"Funny you would call me that, when it takes you being backed by eight Salamanders to have the courage to face me." Recon spat back out, eyes narrowing in displeasure as he eyed Sigurd's arrogant smirk.

"Is that supposed to wound me? After all, a fair fight is a privilege reserved for equals, not for dealing with vermin." He answered with a sneer. "You, Leafa and that accursed Spriggan cost me everything! And now you are going to pay for that!"

"Perhaps you shouldn't have betrayed your faction in the first place!" He replied, eyes darting everywhere, fruitlessly seeking a path of escape.

The eight Salamanders had taken a semicircle formation, four spearmen decked in heavy armor, two swordsmen sporting large kite-like shields and two mages waiting at the back.

'_Yup, I'm royally screwed.'_ He decided, knowing his dagger would have problems piercing his opponents' heavy armor before he was taken out, and that he would fall even sooner if he tried to rush past them to reach the less armored mages at the back.

"It was them that betrayed me!" Sigurd spat out, his face contorting into a mask of rage. "I was supposed to be the Lord of the Sylphs not that upstart Sakuya!"

"But that's irrelevant; I have no need to explain myself to the likes of you. Take him out." He arrogantly said, gesturing to his Salamander troops to move in.

Lowering his center of gravity and raising his dagger before his face Recon prepared himself for a last stand, shaking off the idle musing about exactly how much Sigurd had to be paying his escorts in order for them to bear his arrogant holier-than-thou attitude.

Eyeing the joints in the spearmen armor he knew those to be his best bet in taking them down; a sudden burst of speed, a carefully aimed blow to the throat with a magically enhanced dagger after getting past the spear effective range, and he could take them down in a single precise blow.

Of course after his surprise attack he would probably be burnt to a crisp by the mages attacks or chopped to bits by the other melee fighters, but every plan had its flaws.

But before he could implement his attack plan he was brought to a halt by a sudden voice shouting from the top of the rocks.

"Stop evil doers, in the name of justice and love-nyou!"

Everyone stopped and stared at the petit figure atop the rocks, _her_ small form sporting a neon pink tutu, a formfitting white shirt perfectly fitted for _her_ size, knee length white boots, white elbow long gloves with pink highlights and a cute pink ribbon atop the figures black hair working together in order to create a truly adorable sight.

"Mil-tan saw your confrontation and how you were ganging up against this brave warrior-nyou. And she cannot allow such a crime against righteousness to go-nyou!" She exclaimed with conviction, twirling in place before clasping _her_ hands together and raising them towards _her_ heart, sparks shining on the background as _she_ completed the pose.

Jumping from _her_ perch the black haired girl gracefully twisted trough the air, landing with a small bow right in front of Recon, a pink wand-like baton ending in a winged beak-like shape appearing on _her_ hands.

"Surrender before the path of righteousness-nyou! Or be prepared to face the power of love-nyou!" _She_ declared, sparkles once again enveloping _her_ form as _she_ pointed _her_ pink baton against the hunting party.

After blinking a few times in order to make sure he was really seeing the strange player that had apparently come to his aid, Recon shock off the small amount of shock _her_ sudden appearance and actions had caused.

The fact _she_ was pretending to be a magical-girl was slightly odd, but then again many players indulged in the guilty pleasure of acting 'in-character' with their avatar self's, acting the part of noble knights or shadowy rogues.

His faction leader Lady Sakuya herself was guilty of it, acting the part of a noblewoman with such perfection that there were an abundance of rumors saying she was in fact a princess IRL.

So _her_ quirk wasn't that strange even if slightly odd and the fact _she_ was willing to face superior numbers to help him was heartwarming, but that presented a whole new problem.

The problem was the fact that _she_ was probably a newbie, since no experienced mage would give up a perch in a difficult to reach position like those rocks to position _herself_ right at sword range.

'_This is not good.'_ He grimly thought, noticing the Salamanders had recovered from the shock as well and were slowly moving forward, having pegged the magical-girl themed player as a mage as well and clearly intending to finish _her_ before _she_ could cast a spell.

"Finish this nuisance." Sigurd shouted, prompting Recon to act.

Bursting forward with all his speed he drew close to one of the spearmen, surprise clear in his body language even trough the thick armor, a quickly pre-casted spell and a vicious shove of his dagger and it was over, his opponent disappearing in a burst of flames.

And yet as he turned around ready to try and dodge the spell the enemy mages were already starting to cast, the battle was once again brought to a halt by a loud shout followed by an action of such incongruence that everyone just stopped and stared.

"Justice hammer-nyou!" Mil-tan shouted, rushing towards a very surprised looking swordsman while using her pink baton to bash his shield.

The sight of the petit magical-girl attacking a large swordsman wearing a shield that was bigger than _her_ with a pink stick was so absurd that everyone simply stared, amusement clear in their eyes.

But the looks of amusement quickly turned into unbelieving shock as the hit connected, shattering the shield with frightening ease before continuing towards its former wielder gaping form.

Recon simply stood there, mouth agape as he watched the massive Salamander swordsman being tossed aside by the blow as if he weighed less than a feather.

The shock lasted until with a new shout Mil-tan rushed towards a spearman, twirling _her_ baton in her hands and a smile on _her_ face.

"Righteousness strike-nyou!"_She_ shouted at the top of _her_ lungs, bringing down _her_ twirling pink weapon with the strength of a vengeful god, taking down the Salamander in a single blow.

Using the shock and confusion _she_ was causing Recon rushed towards the two mages who were still gaping at the sight of a diminutive pink wearing magical-girl manhandling their teammates as if they were nothing.

A quick spell shot a volley of dark bolts against the farthest mage, who was still too distracted to recover, the second was able to unleashed a fireball, attempting to gain time to use a more powerful spell, but a sudden twist and careful application of his superior speed allowed Recon to dodge it and close in with them.

Quickly unleashing a series of slashes he started to deplete the mages' health points, while doing his best to contain his curiosity about what exactly was happening behind him as the shouts of ridiculous names such as 'Love Smasher' and 'Friendship Bomb' continued, alongside loud shattering sounds.

Finishing his opponents he turned around in time to see Mil-tan crush the last swordsman with her bare fist, her small left hand having pierced straight through his shield and armor.

"Love punch-nyou!" She happily declared as her unbelieving opponent disappeared in a shower of flames.

A huge smile appearing on his face Recon started to move towards a flabbergasted looking Sigurd, who was standing unmoving as he tried, and failed, to make sense of what had just happened.

"Guess today really isn't your day." He cheerfully said, swiftly plunging his dagger on Sigurd's head, making his avatar burst in a shower of green flames.

Turning around towards his rescuer Recon watched as Mil-tan twirled in place before stopping and raising her baton right overhead, sparkles once again appearing on the background.

"Beware evil doers; Mil-tan cannot be defeated-nyou! For justice and love shall always win-nyou!"

"You got that right!" He cheerfully said, letting out a small chuckle of amusement due to _her_ antics. "Thanks a lot, without your help this would have ended very differently, my name is Recon by the way."

"It was not a problem-nyou. Mil-tan was simply going towards the Glistering Caves when she spotted your distress and righteousness demanded she intervene-nyou." _She_ happily replied while twirling in place.

"Well thanks anyway…" He replied with a smile, watching the magical-girl antics until noticing a problem with what _she_ had said. "Wait, the Glistering Caves? That's in the frost area, deep inside the territory of the Gnomes!"

"So I take that's not around here-nyou?" She innocently asked, stopping _her_ twirls to look him in the eyes.

"Around here…" Recon mumbled, astonished by how lost _she_ really was. "We are in the forest area near the Sylph capital Sylvian, the frost area is literally on the other side of the world!"

"I see, Mil-tan thanks you for this information-nyou. Farewell brave warrior-nyou." _She_ happily replied before turning around and starting to head off, in the complete wrong direction.

"Wait Mil-tan." Recon asked, prompting the magical-girl to stop and give him a curious look. "You really helped me back there; if you want I can guide you to the Glistering Caves." He offered with a polite smile.

"Really-nyou? Thank you so much brave warrior-nyou! Now nothing shall stop Mil-tan from her quest of love and justice-nyou!" _She_ proudly declared while striking a pose, sparkles once again appearing behind _her_.

Shaking his head in bemusement Recon checked his flight meter to see if they could take off, while musing about his strange new travelling companion.

He really hadn't planned in going that way anytime soon, but he also had no prior commitments and owed _her_ a huge debt.

'_And besides, she is really cute.' _He thought with a small blush, looking at the cheerful black haired magical-girl petit form.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Yes I'm evil. Poor, poor, Recon, he has absolutely no idea exactly what he is getting himself into now. In my defense, this is exactly how his luck in Canon seems to go; the boy simply can't catch a break.

And with this Mil-tan acquires her first companion in her quest of protecting justice and love, may Cardinal-sama have mercy upon those who shall fall by her hands.

Those who vaguely recognized the absurd naming scheme of Mil-tan's attacks are Slayers fans like me.

May the memory of Philionel El Di Saillune, also known as Prince Phil, live in glory! He who shattered the barriers between Prince and Brigand and used wrestling moves with magical-girl themed names!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	7. Chapter 7 - Familiar Mayhem II

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, I'm actually kind of surprised about the sudden increase in the update speed for this story; I mean, this makes three updates in less than two weeks. It feels as if I'm suddenly overflowing with ideas for side stories and Omakes.

Regardless of this sudden bout of inspiration I hope you like this chapter; I surely found the mental image it gave me highly amusing.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Omake: Familiar Mayhem II**

Walking alongside the rest of the Peerage trough the moonlit forest, following their debatably insane guide, Kirito couldn't help but muse about how odd the crimson tinted forest really was.

'_There are so many strange creatures around here, it's no wonder __Satooji__ is so strange if this is what he has to deal with in a daily basis.'_ He thought, remembering the Undines, the Spirit Fox and the Sprite Dragon they had found so far.

The fact they had seen all those in little more than an hour only reinforcing his opinion about the oddity that was the Familiar Forest.

But his idle musings were suddenly brought to a halt upon noticing that the Familiar Master had unexpectedly halted his confident stride, body tense and unmoving as dry sweat started to run down his back.

"Everybody stay calm and do as I say!" Satooji quietly said, alarm clear in his tone.

"Quietly backtrack on your footsteps, make no sudden movements or loud noises and above all else remain calm! Follow my lead and everything will be just fine!" He quickly explained; his tone of voice attempting to be reassuring but clearly dipping towards panic, as if he himself didn't really believe in his own words.

A sudden feeling of unease and apprehension taking hold of him, Kirito attempted to see what had caused the sudden change of heart on their guide while silently stepping forward in order to shield Asuna and Koneko if necessary.

After all, something capable of striking fear into someone who thought a Hydra was a nice familiar, or that going after a Dragon-god was a good idea, could only be a truly fearsome beast.

Upon seeing the source of their guide distress, Kirito couldn't help but blink in astonishment. His mind struggling with the concept that what he was seeing truly was what had Satooji so frightened.

A white feathery body no larger than eleven inches, small black eyes, two wings at its sides and a small red comb at the top of its head completing its appearance.

"That's a chicken." Issei pointed out while stepping forward, unknowingly voicing what was on the mind of the entire Peerage.

"That's not a chicken! That's a Cucco!" The Familiar Master hissed in alarm, a frantic look in his eyes.

Giving their odd guide a strange look Issei approached the small, harmless looking, chicken-like being, a small smile appearing on his face.

"After all that talk about capturing monsters and whatnot, I can't believe that you are really afraid of this little guy." He gleefully said, crouching down and moving a hand forward to poke the Cucco.

"Don't…!" The Familiar Master hastily attempted to say; a look of utter doom permeating his features as Issei poked the harmless looking feathery creature.

Clearly annoyed by the action the Cucco threw his head backwards, unleashing a loud crow, the normally ordinary sound echoing through the trees in a foreboding manner.

Looking at the small chicken-like creature as it unleashed its battle cry Kirito's instincts suddenly awakened.

His instincts, instincts born in the fields of battle, honed in countless struggles where the smallest mistake could mean death, instincts that he trusted above everything else, were now literally screaming at him, telling him with absolute certainty that he really didn't want to stay around.

Widening his eyes at the sudden feeling of utter dread and looming danger that had appeared he turned the urgent warning his instincts were telling him into one single word, unintentionally shouting it alongside the now completely panic stricken Familiar Master.

"Run!"

Matching actions to words Kirito darted forward, right hand grabbing Asuna's while his left grabbed Koneko's, ensuring they would follow him before bolting away at the fastest speed he could muster, right after the already fleeing Familiar Master.

Behind him the rest of the Peerage was doing the same, Kiba carrying a confused looking Asia as Akeno and Rias flanked him, worry and apprehension battling with the confusion they were feeling at Kirito and Satooji's sudden actions.

Looking in confusion from his spot right next to the chicken-like being Issei wasted a precious moment wondering what exactly was happening, a moment he simply couldn't afford to lose.

For in that very same moment, appearing as if from nowhere and crowing their wrath, the Cucco horde descended.

* * *

Looking at the battered form laying on the ground, wounds covering him from head to toe despite the fact Asia had been healing him for over a minute already, Kirito could honestly say he would never look at a chicken the same way ever again.

The unending horde of Cuccos had descended upon the Peerage's only [Pawn] with a fury no mortal mind could understand.

He had watched in terrified awe alongside the others after escaping the immediate area as the feathery storm descended upon Issei with single minded intensity, attacking him in unending waves and forcing him to activate his Sacred Gear in order to attempt to fight back the onslaught, to no avail.

Uncaring about their own safety, shrugging off blows capable of shattering rocks and uprooting trees as if they had no meaning, they simply kept attacking the unfortunate soul that had unknowingly disturbed one of their kin.

He had stood in transfixed astonishment as the frantic [Pawn] activated the Balance Breaker of his Longinus class Sacred Gear in a final attempt to escape their unrelenting assault.

An escape that was only barely possible due to him firing a fully powered Dragon Shot, backed by no less than seventeen boosts, the gargantuan explosion clearing the area long enough for Kiba to dart forward grab the [Pawn] and run as fast as he could for ten minutes straight until the Cuccos gave up their pursuit, the creatures apparently having survived the gargantuam blast of demonic energy completely unscathed.

"W-what… was that…?" Issei mumbled from the ground, once again giving voice to the thoughts of the entire Peerage.

"As I said before, that was a Cucco." The blank faced familiar master promptly replied in a grave manner.

"A triple S class creature, known for its apparent invulnerability to all known forms of attack, be they magical, mundane, holy or demonic, an extremely poor temper if disturbed and the ability to summon more members of its species with its crow, an ability that is capable of bypassing any shield or ward known to this day."

"There is no known way to fight them when they are angered, the only even vaguely effective way to deal with them is to run fast enough and far enough for them to lose interest." He explained, taking a deep breath in order to recompose himself.

"Bottom line kid is this: If you see a Cucco in your path, leave it the hell alone and go another way." He continued in a matter of fact tone, giving a solemn nod to punctuate that fact.

"Fear the Cucco kid, fear the Cucco…" He finished in a barely audible manner, a faraway look in his eyes, his words receiving the silent agreement of the entire Peerage.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

This was a truly amusing chapter to write.

The Cucco horde, bane of 'The Legend of Zelda' players worldwide, unstoppable, un-killable, harmless looking beings, that if angered cannot be defeated, escape being the only route left for those who dared defy them.

I found the idea of them appearing as an actual magical creature to be truly amusing, and while thinking about it, and how the Peerage would deal with them, this chapter came into being.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	8. Chapter 8 - Perverts Never Prosper

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, a special thanks to **ultima-owner** who suggested the original idea which originated this Omake.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Omake: Perverts Never Prosper**

It was a beautiful sunny day, the perfect weather inviting all who could do such to move outdoors in order to enjoy the day. But despite the perfect weather a young black haired high school girl briskly walked through the park without paying any attention to the day's beauty, a pissed off look on her face.

Atsuko Haruka, Kendo captain of Kuoh academy Kendo Club, was beyond enraged. The reason for her fury being three notoriously known members of said prestigious academy, Matsuda, Motohama and Issei, the Perverted Trio.

Three incorrigible perverts who didn't have a single shred of decency in their entire bodies and would spy on her club, or any other female as a matter of fact, while they changed in or out of their practicing garbs.

'_I can't believe this! Why can't Sona Kaichou do something about them! This was the fifth time they were caught peeking on one of the female sport's club this week alone, and it's still Tuesday!'_ She angrily thought, remembering how she had caught two of the three perverts peeking at her club members after practice was over.

Even if the beating they had delivered upon them had been cathartic she knew the lesson would not stick, she knew they would be back to their disgusting habits as soon as they could, after all, it was a known fact that the three perverts were more resilient than cockroaches.

But what was truly annoying her was the fact that no disciplinary action was ever taken against them, even thought she knew that Sona-Kaichou personally disapproved of their actions she couldn't act due to, in her words, political reasons.

'_It's almost as if someone is protecting them.'_ She silently fumed, distractedly grabbing a pamphlet being offered in the street while wondering if those rumors that Hyoudou Issei, the leader of the three perverts, was blackmailing Rias Gremory had any merit, since it was the only explanation she could come up with for why one of the Great Onee-sama's of Kuoh academy would be protecting him.

'_Regardless, something has to be done.'_ She grimly decided as she kept going towards her home.

* * *

Sitting in her bed Haruka kept staring at the pamphlet she had acquired on her way home, doubt and incredulity warring with her desire to see something done to resolve the issue at hand.

Sighting she shook her head before once more staring at the pamphlet and the occult looking magical circle that was stamped on it, above a small series of instructions explaining how to use it, proclaiming that it was a way to turn one's desires into reality.

'_Why am I even considering this?'_ She irritably thought, embarrassed even though no one was there to see her seriously considering using some weird piece of advertisement as a way to solve her problems.

She didn't really believe nor disbelieve in the supernatural, after all Rias Gremory was the leader of the Occult Research Club, and if one of the Great Onee-sama's believed such things existed then she would give it the benefit of the doubt.

But it was one thing to think Ghosts and other such things could exist and another to entertain even for one moment that a piece of paper someone had given her in the street was some kind of magical spell.

'_Those three are probably driving me insane for me to seriously consider this.' _She decided, getting up and holding the piece of paper right in front of her just like instructed while focusing on her desire.

After all, if it worked, it worked. And if not, no one would see her making a fool of herself in the privacy of her room.

After a few seconds of concentration while battling with the growing sense of embarrassment that was building up inside of her, a sudden flash of red light made her drop the circle and close her eyes.

Cautiously opening them she felt her jaw drop in astonishment, for standing right in the middle of her previously empty room was a beautiful girl with long light red hair that reached the small of her back, an impish smile on her face as she stared at Haruka appraisingly.

"Greetings, my name is Megumi Hikari and I'm a Devil." She calmly said while giving a small graceful bow. "Now how can I be of assistance?"

* * *

Wandering the halls of the academy without really paying attention to where she was going Haruka keep pondering about the impossible event that had happened last night while her hand absent mindedly played with the slip of paper that was on her pocket.

After an initial moment of panic and hysterics she had calmed down enough for Hikari-san to explain the situation. The fact she wasn't there to claim Haruka's soul or any other nefarious reason doing a lot to settle her frayed nerves.

In the end she had explained her situation to the Devil that she had semi intentionally summoned, about the three perverts and how she desired for them to face retribution.

After calmly listening the Devil had explained that such wishes were usually quite expensive, as they tended to greatly affect the lives of their targets and so cost accordingly. But before she could feel dejected about it Hikari-san had promptly offered an alternative.

Her impish smile growing by the second she explained that while true retribution was normally quite expensive, temporary pay-back was far more manageable, and it so happened that she had some skills with misfortune curses.

And that's how she ended up with the little talisman shaped slip of paper in her pocket, a 'freebie' of sorts to encourage her future patronage.

'_This really isn't how I thought a Devil would act.'_ She thought in bemusement stopping on one of the second floor windows of the academy and looking out into the grounds. _'But is it really okay to use this thought?'_

Looking at the harmless looking piece of paper covered in nonsensical scribbles and symbols she wondered if even the three perverts really deserved such a thing as a curse, even if a temporary one.

As if answering her musings the sound of perverted giggling reached her ears, focusing on the school grounds she immediately spotted it.

A figure with a shaved head and holding a professional looking camera was crouching near one of the Gym's windows, shamelessly taking pictures while letting out the perverted giggles that had warned her to his presence.

Matsuda, the 'Sexual Harassment Paparazzi', one of the Perverted Trio and showing exactly how he had acquired his nickname as he took pictures of the Volleyball Club during practice.

A noticeable twitch in her eyebrow Haruka's gaze fell upon the talisman she was still holding, a small impish grin appearing on her face as the internal moral debate she had been having was immediately solved.

* * *

Matsuda was having a great day, not only had he managed to take some awesome pictures from the girls of the Volleyball Club, but for once it seemed no one would interfere with his hobby.

Deciding not to push his luck he reached to put away his camera and the precious cargo it now contained while quietly turning around to leave the area, only to trip over one of his shoelaces that had come undone without his notice, dropping the camera as he fell.

Rising from the ground he immediately started searching for his camera, immediately finding it a few meters away in the middle of the path between the Gym and the sports field, completely fine and just waiting for him to pick it up.

Letting out a sigh of relief that his precious camera and it's even more precious content were fine he wasted a second watching in befuddlement at the cause of his fall, wondering how could his shoelaces have come undone when he clearly remembering tying them with a double knot this morning.

His musings where brought short by the fast approaching sound of dozens of feet hitting against the ground at a fast rhythmic beat. Searching for the source of the noise he saw the entirety of the Baseball Club running through the path, coming towards him.

In a moment of sudden insight he realized what was about to happen a single moment before it would come to pass, the sudden clarity of though coming too late for him to do anything about it but stare in abject horror at the unfolding scene.

"MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!"

A glazed look on his eyes and his mouth opened in a silent scream he watched as dozens of feet trampled trough the exact same path where his precious camera was lying, the sound of each feet hitting the ground resounding unnaturally loud in the air.

After a few moments of unnatural stillness, as the dust cloud the jogging baseball club had left in their wake settled down, Matsuda rushed forward in the vain hope of finding his camera still intact.

Kneeling at the ground next to the dozen of scattered pieces of what once had been a professional high level camera he threw his head backwards and let the world understand his anguish.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

"Here is you order, thirty misfortune curse talismans as requested." The red headed Devil politely said delivering a stack of talismans to Haruka.

"Thank you for the prompt deliver." Haruka cheerfully replied, taking the stack of papers and handing over a neatly bundled roll of cash in payment.

"I must say I didn't expect you to call me again so soon. I take you found the results of my product to be satisfactory?" Hikari asked, an impish smile blossoming on her face.

"You could say that." She answered, a very pleased smile fixed on her face as she remembered how Matsuda's cry of anguish for his camera had alerted the Volleyball Club of his presence, prompting an immediate beating of the pervert.

"I'm glad, feel free to call me if you need anything else Haruka-san." Hikari said before vanishing in a flash of red light.

Looking at the stack of papers on her hands she could barely contain the manic grin that was threatening to spread through her face.

'_Best use of my allowance ever.'_ She cheerfully thought, merrily skipping towards her closet to store the talismans.

Even if she had just used her entire allowance for the month, she felt it had been worth it, she could barely wait for school tomorrow.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Some reviewers wanted to see more of Matsuda and Motohama, Issei perverted friends and their antics. Then **ultima-owner** asked if I could make an Omake about having someone wishing bad luck and general misfortune on them, and this was the end result.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	9. Chapter 9 - Familiar Mayhem III

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, I blame this chapter on watching too much TV. It's a silly little chapter, but I simply couldn't help myself, and the end result did end up quite funny.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Omake: Familiar Mayhem III**

Deep within the Familiar Forest, carefully walking amidst the deep darkness that permeated his surroundings, using the few rays of moonlight that filtered the dense canopy for light, Kirito searched alongside Asuna for the noise she had heard.

'_This place really lives up to its name; it feels like something could pop up at any moment.' _He idly thought as he moved around one of the many giant trees that composed most of the Familiar Forest.

"Kirito look!" Asuna called, pointing at a small hollow on a tree where a little fox was looking at them curiously.

Or at least it resembled a fox. The fact that parts of its body kept appearing and disappearing continuously, as if it was not fully there, was a dead giveaway that it was no normal fox.

"It's adorable." Asuna said getting closer to the curious looking fox.

"It kind of reminds me of the 'Cheshire Cat' from 'Alice in Wonderland'." Kirito said upon seeing nearly its entire body disappearing for a moment, leaving only its curious eyes floating there for an instant.

Watching with a smile on his face as Asuna step forward, clearly intending to pet the curious looking fox, Kirito suddenly stiffened, feeling as if something was watching them.

Quickly spinning around he searched the tree line, narrowed eyes searching for what his instincts were telling him with absolute certainty was there.

"Kirito, what's the problem?" Asuna seriously asked, abandoning her former intention of petting the fox in order to position herself alongside the black-clad [Rook], joining her gaze upon his search.

"I'm not sure…" There had been no sound, absolutely nothing to indicated anything was out there, and yet, even as his eyes fruitlessly scanned the dark forest, he couldn't help but agree with what his instincts were telling, something was there amidst the shadows. "But it feels like something is watching us."

Focusing all his senses to the maximum Kirito searched for whatever it was that was watching them, straining his ears for the barest hint of a sound, narrowing his eyes for the smallest sign of movement.

Finally he noticed its approach. There was no sound, no rustling of bushes being moved, no sound of dried leaves and loose soil being crunched, not even a hint of movement despite the slow, ponderous, nearly mechanical gait the being was using for approaching them.

It was almost as if the forest itself failed to recognized its presence, allowing him passage without hindrance, as it keep moving continuously at a straight line, every movement precise, contained, clockwork-like.

Point in fact if not for the fact it wasn't even trying to hide it's movements Kirito doubted they would have even notice it's absolutely silent approach until it had directly crossed their path.

Taking a steep to the side alongside Asuna, they watched as the creature stopped at the edge of the path, body perfectly still, completely immobile, nearly unresponsive.

It was wearing a full body white racing suit that covered him from head to toe, and that despite their location remained utterly pristine, as if it had just been bought, and not used to tread trough a dense forest. Its head was encased inside a white featureless helmet, visor completely opaque, blocking any light that tried to penetrate it's depths and reveal it's face.

They stood there, watching the white apparition while it simply stood there, still as a statue as it looked at them from beneath his helmet.

Finally the creature moved once again, giving the couple the barest of nods before once again marching forward, the bushes and plants that littered the forest floor seaming to part before his soundless stride as he walked into the shadows at the other side of the path, vanishing without a trace in a matter of moments, not a single leaf or speck of dust disturbed to show it had passed by.

They simply stood there, watching the point at which the creature had disappeared in stunned silence for a minute until a distant explosion broke them out of the trance.

Looking Asuna right in the eyes, he felt as she reached the same decision he had just made.

"That didn't happen." Asuna said with finality.

"Agreed." Kirito answered with a nod of complete understanding before moving towards the sound of the explosion alongside her, their pace calm, unhurried.

* * *

Sitting at a small bar on the very heart of London, three men were engaged in a discussion while impatiently waiting for their final member to finally arrive.

"Where is he? He should have arrived hours ago! Even 'Captain Slow' here managed to finish before him!" A man with average height and spiky hair complained.

"Hey, I resent that." A second long haired man with a Hawaiian shirt said while raising his drink.

"I told you both it was a bad idea to send him into the London subway! Do you have any idea how confusing that place is?" A third, older man with short hair and a heavy British accent answered, a touch of worry in his voice.

"Well someone had to test the efficiency, or total lack thereof, of public transport." The first man promptly replied, receiving a nod from the second in agreement.

"I don't think you two quite grasp exactly how confusing that abomination can be. He could be anywhere!" The third man replied in exasperation.

"Oh now you are just being melodramatic."

* * *

Some say he is a creature from the depths of outer space…

Others say he can bend reality itself under his will…

All we know is…

He's called The Stig!

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Yeah as I said at the AN above I blame this one in too much TV, more specifically watching three episodes in a roll of Top Gear.

The idea of the Stig appearing in the Familiar Forest simply wouldn't leave my mind, and after some thought I decided that it was a funny enough image for an Omake, so I went ahead and did this chapter for the hell of it.

Now that I think about it, the idea would also work really well for a Fate Series Omake, with the Stig as a Rider Class Servant. Now that would be awesome. Wonder what his Noble Phantasm would be?

PS: **I do not own "Top Gear" or the "Stig"**, unfortunately…

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	10. Chapter 10 - PMH III

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, like some of you asked for, here is the next chapter from PMH. Hope you like Argo's newest shenanigans.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**PMH ****(Psycho Mother Hen)**** III**

"Your family really likes using golem sentries, don't they?" Hikari idly asked; a playful smile on her face as she dodged the massive stone sword that was trying to crush her.

"This is so not the time Hikari." Tsukino Dantalion, also known as Argo 'The Rat', answered between clenched teeth, the metallic claw gauntlet mounted on her right arm cleaving deep gouges upon the enchanted stone of a second golem, cutting out it's leg and allowing her to strike at its head.

Taking stock of the situation at hand Argo couldn't help but let out a groan of frustration. Thanks to the information they had acquired at the central vault she had managed to bypass the alarms and locks placed upon the emergency escape tunnel deep within the compound.

It should have been a direct route outside the area of influence of the siege wards and other assorted defenses dreamed up by generations of Dantalions. And from there an easy trip to the human world and hopefully to acquiring her new Peerage.

An easy task, no problem, especially considering they had acquired all the passwords, codes, locations and intelligence regarding the compound defenses.

'_Of course I should have remembered that Dantalion and Paranoid are practically synonyms in some parts of the Underworld.'_ She bitterly thought, blasting the stone behemoth that was trying to flatten her with her demonic power.

Because of course the escape route would have a secret, completely separate, secondary set of defenses, completely autonomous to the ones depicted upon the central archive and for which she had no passwords or access codes.

'_Always have a plan, and never trust it.' _She acutely remembered the ancient saying her family favored, jumping back to avoid the massive stone spear being swung against her while watching Hikari blasting two other golems with a jet of blue flames.

"You know, for a last line of defense created by your family I was kind of expecting more than simply a cage filled with stone guardians and deathly traps, after all, once you disable the taps the golems by themselves aren't really that dangerous." She flippantly said, joining Argo in the center of the arena.

For 'Arena' was the only word that could accurately describe the area they were in, a large circular room that had been filled with stone sentries, hidden traps scattered everywhere and with two doorways at opposite sides of the room, both now blocked by barriers thrumming with demonic energy and keeping them in.

"Hikari please take this seriously, we barely managed to stop the alarm spell from activating while dismantling those traps, there is no telling what else is here and I would rather not tempt fate." Argo said while taking out one of the remaining golems while Hikari blasted the other.

"I'm just saying that I expected more, I mean, isn't one of your grandparents supposedly famous for his enchanting skills, more specifically, his nigh indestructible golems?" She simply asked, her unimpressed gaze taking in the piles of rock littering the room.

As if in answer to her question the loud sound of a gong reverberated through the area, a faint blue glow suddenly coursing through the floor and penetrating the scattered remains of the stone sentries they had taken out.

Before their surprised eyes they watched as the stones started rising from the ground and rushing towards one another, grouping together into far too familiar forms, cracks disappearing before their eyes in mere seconds until nothing but the pristine form of over thirty, seven feet tall, enchanted stone golems remained, large stone weapons at the ready and facing the duo.

"Okay, I take that back. This is pretty impressive." Hikari happily declared all but ignoring her old friend irritated look and twitching eyebrow.

* * *

"This kind of defense mechanism doesn't even make sense!" Argo shouted in frustration at the new obstacle they were facing.

After managing to take down the barrier locking them inside the arena with the regenerating golems; then passing through a corridor filled with moving saws, spikes and other assorted pointy and bladed objects that proved themselves completely immune to magic; and facing down and evading a dragon made of enchanted crystal that practically redefined the meaning of the word indestructible, inside what for all intents and purposes appeared to be an active volcano of all things; they were upon the latest obstacle upon their path.

"Do your parents or family in general enjoy video-games, Tsukino-sama?" Hikari asked with a hint of amusement, a small amused smile firm upon her face.

Taking in the revolving floating platforms that were continuously moving around the large square room, the large black abyss that constituted the majority of the room's floor, the jets of flame and other assorted traps that were activating and deactivating in a seemingly random pattern, the enchanted armored knights that were stationed in the central platform and other strategic spots, and the fact they had to reorient half a dozen mirrors in order to reflect a ray of light into a orb resting in said platform in order to open the massive gates that were locking them in, Argo couldn't help but feel that her [Queen's] question had quite a bit of merit.

"Let's get this over with." She said while choosing not to actually answer the question, jumping to the nearest platform and immediately leaping to the next one in order to avoid the surge of electricity that had engulfed her previous position.

Jumping from position to position without pause, dodging an ever increasing assortment of exotic traps, Argo knew without a doubt that this video-game like challenge was her father's fault.

After all, he had been the one to introduce her to gaming.

* * *

"Oh you got to be kidding me." She moaned in frustration, placing her face upon her hands as Hikari fought back a giggling fit.

After bypassing another heavily trapped corridor and an underwater maze of all things they were facing what was the last obstacle between them and freedom.

Or at least she sincerely hoped it was the last, considering how far they had traveled she knew they were miles away from the compound at this point.

The room looked like a pristine lake, the water reaching only up to their ankles, the doors, walls and ceiling having disappeared when they entered the room, making it look like they were standing upon an infinite expanse.

At the very center of the room was a small island with a single tree, from the shadow of which two figures were emerging, their dark forms appearing to be made out of shadows and their crimson eyes locked upon the two Devils.

They were perfect shadowy replicas of her and Hikari, down to their attire, expressions and posture.

'_This is definitely father's doing…' _Argo decided with finality, looking at the eerily familiar sight from one of her favorite games her father had introduced to her years ago.

Dodging the black claws that attempted to strike her and replying in kind, only to watch her doppelganger easily avoid her own strike, she shook of her irritation and focused at the battle at hand.

But even so, as she traded blows with her replica while watching Hikari and her own double easily avoiding each other's strikes, she couldn't help a stray thought from forming.

'_This would be way easier if we had a hammer…'_

* * *

"Finally!" Argo exclaimed in elation as they reached the top of the staircase that lead to the surface. "If I had to face another inane obstacle, indestructible guardian, or annoying puzzle I was going to scream!"

"It wasn't that bad." Hikari calmly replied, smiling at her old friend exaggerated reaction. "You can't say that wasn't a unique experience."

"The last room made us run for over two miles while being pursued by a gigantic magic resistant boulder." Argo deadpanned.

"You have no respect for the classics, Tsukino-sama." Was the [Queen's] flippantly reply, her amused smile firmly into place.

Argo opened her mouth to reply only to close it, let out a small sigh and allowed a matching smile to form in her own face.

"Yeah, at the very least it was an interesting ordeal."She declared, trading a bemused look with Hikari. "Now let's go before something else happe…"

She cut herself short upon noticing that there were two small backpacks resting upon the door leading outside, a small white envelope laying atop them.

Throwing caution to the wind she strode forward and opened the letter, Hikari accompanying her and reading it alongside her.

"Greetings Tsukino-chan, I hope you enjoyed your little adventure so far.

Your dear mother will be inspecting our outposts for the following two days alongside yours truly, so you have that long to go to the Human World and get back before she finds out and goes after you. I strongly suggest you to do so.

I took the liberty of packing a few essentials for you and Hikari-chan, just in case. Best of luck in recruiting your new Peerage members!

Love, Dad.

Ps: This message will self-destruct after being read. If your mother gets you I knew nothing about this."

Fighting down the growing eye twitch that was appearing on her face Argo watched as the letter burned to ashes, destroying any incriminating evidence linking her father to her 'unauthorized' excursion to the human world.

Ignoring the faint giggles coming from behind her Argo moved forward and opened one of the backpacks, checking its contents. There was no reason to deny freely given help after all.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

While working on the obstacles within the secret escape route I noticed that I was all but creating a game dungeon, and upon that realization decided to go for it and actually create a game dungeon, drawing heavily from great games famous for such, like the Legend of Zelda series. Hopefully it turned up alright.

And poor Argo learned that old age and trickery shall always beat youth and exuberance.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	11. Chapter 11 - A Long, Long Time Ago

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, a special thanks to **darkpiro9** who suggested the original idea that led to this Omake. This was actually suggested awhile ago, but after watching a certain movie recently I felt that it was the right time to work on it.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Omake: A Long, Long Time Ago…**

High upon a massive structure that rested high upon the clouds, a towering floating monolith the likes even the gods of old would proudly call home; two figures clashed.

The first, a large man wearing heavy red armor, his left hand holding a large kite shield with ease while his right expertly wielded a large sword, a man all who dwelled in the tower would have called a paragon of virtue, a courageous leader seeking to free them from their prison, a hero.

The second, a young lithe man, wearing an all encompassing black outfit, wielding twin blades one in each arm, one a black as deep as a moonless night, the other a translucent nearly see-through blue, a man known for his lackadaisical attitude, for his lack of concern for the rules, for his apparent selfishness, a rogue.

One a selfless hero, sacrificing himself so they all could be free, the other, a ruthless rogue, caring nothing for others and seeking only the completion of his own desire.

That was how all but precious few saw both those warriors, an image that had been utterly shattered by the happening of this day when the truth was revealed, as they crossed blades in a duel to the death, a duel that could very well define the destiny of all those around them.

A hero and a rogue clashed in battle, their skills and convictions stretched to the limits as they tested their mettle against each other.

But like those now helplessly watching from the sidelines could now attest, appearances can be deceiving.

* * *

His blades moving with daunting speeds, strike after strike linking together into an endless barrage, into a rain of tempered steel that could easily bring the strongest of foes to their knees with its overwhelming power, Kirito eyes remained locked at his opponents own gaze, a sneer of anger on his features.

Blocking blow after blow with impunity, his large shield absorbing all attacks with skillful ease, a serene satisfied smile on his face as he maneuvered his own blade to strike at any and all openings his opponent provided, Heatcliff gazed back.

"You have truly grown strong Kirito." Heatcliff calmly stated even as their blades kept their deadly dance, the intensity of their exchange of blows not lessening for even a moment. "I have to wonder, how strong would you have been upon reaching the top of Aincrad?"

"Quiet! You are going to pay for all that you have done Kayaba!" Kirito roared back, increasing his own attack speed even further to the very limits of the system.

Smile still firmly into place his crimson clad opponent merely increased his own pace in kind, their swords now nothing but blurs of light to those watching.

"Such anger Kirito. I can feel it coursing through you, giving you focus, making you stronger. But I cannot help but ask, can't you understand my reasons?" He said in the same calm tone of voice. "Can't you see why I did what I did? How my actions turned the mere ordinary into something more?"

"Yes, sacrifices were made. But if that is the price of achieving the realization of my dream?" He asked, his calm demeanor disappearing for the first time since the battle started, his eyes shining with excitement. "Then so be it."

And with those words he charged forward, abandoning his defensive stance for an all out assault, forcing Kirito back into the defensive, his swords making intricate patterns all around him as he weathered his opponents rain of blows.

"Just look at yourself Kirito. You have come so far, from a mere boy to a warrior Ares himself would be proud to claim as a champion! Can't you see it?"

Ignoring the words of the madmen before him Kirito focused all his being into the dancing blades that where flashing around them, looking for any opening he could exploit, for the smallest advantage he could find, for any way to lay his opponent down and claim victory.

Speeding up even further, past the very limits of the system, he keep up with his opponent, every single attack being blocked with unnatural accuracy, his every opening being exploited with pin point attacks, both their health bars slowly falling due to the intensity of both their onslaughts.

And yet he could easily see that should things continue as they were he would fall first, that if he didn't act soon he would lose.

Seeing an opportunity he took it without though, instincts reacting before his mind could catch up and realize his mistake.

Even as he unleashed his Dual Blades strongest skill, The Eclipse, he realized his mistake, his opponent victorious grin all but confirming it for him.

His blades enveloped in light surged forward with impossible speed, twenty-seven strikes delivered in a near continuous attack, an attack that could bring even a Floor Boss to its knees, an attack his own opponent had created.

Predicting every single one of his strikes Heatcliff weathered the storm, his life points dropping but still remaining safely above the red zone.

His last blow delivered Kirito found himself frozen in the delay caused by the use of the skill, his right arm overextended, completely at his opponents mercy.

"You truly have come far Kirito." Heatcliff said, a tinge of pride on his voice. "But it's still not enough."

With those words he brought down his blade upon Kirito's extended arm, severing it in a single blow, the limb shattering in a shower of polygons as the blade it held clattered to the ground.

Recovering from the delay Kirito rolled away from his opponent, left arm raised before his body putting his remaining sword between them, the pulsing red of his health bar bringing a bitter taste to his mouth.

"You cannot defeat me Kirito, not as you are now." Heatcliff calmly stated, having made no move to pursue him in his weakened condition. "But that doesn't mean your path has to end here."

The Black-swordsmen simply stared at his enemy, the eagerness he could see in his opponents' eyes making him question what little sanity he believed Kayaba still had.

"Together we could accomplish so much! Join me my son, as we translate Aincrad into reality!" He declared as if a god delivering his will.

But Kirito was no longer listening, his mind caught up into a single word his opponent had said.

"No! It cannot be true! You cannot be him!" He shouted, mind awhirl as he remembered all the times he had asked his foster mother about his parents, and how she had never mentioned anything about his father.

"Search you feelings Kirito! You know it to be true!" He said taking a step forward. "Join me and we shall rule together as father and son!"

"Noooooooooooo!"

* * *

Nearly jumping out of his bed, a scream dying on his lips, Kirito quickly took on his surroundings, his breath labored and his heart hammering inside his chest.

"Papa it's okay." A small soothing voice said from his side at the same time as he felt a small weight landing on his left shoulder.

"Everything is alright." The little fairy AI said while moving a hand comfortably trough his hair. "You have just suffered an undue increase in your body's metabolism and brain activity during the REM phase of your sleep pattern, resulting in a surge of anxiety and stress coinciding with the highest point of your dream cycle, which in turn caused your abrupt return to wakefulness, increased heartbeat rate, and current distress."

"What?" He asked in befuddlement, voicing his confusion to his daughter explanation of what had happened.

"You had a nightmare." Yui stated with a solemn nod, an adorably serious look on her small form.

"Oh…" Kirito said as realization of what had just happened finally set in.

Raising one hand to his forehead he let out a tired sigh. "This is the last time I let Klein convince me to watch a six movies long movie marathon while eating junk food…"

* * *

…**In a Galaxy, Far, Far Away.**

**SAO WARS**

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Yeah…I regret nothing…

Darkpiro9 pointed out to me that Kayaba/Heatcliff and Kirito's relationship had some strong similarities with that of Darth Vader with Luke from the Star Wars universe and I couldn't help but agree.

That led me to imagine their final confrontation on the seventh fifth floor in a different light which in turn lead to this Omake.

Ps: **No, I don't own "Star Wars" either.**

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	12. Chapter 12 - GMR

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like to thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, **Spoiler Warning**, if you haven't read chapter twenty five of DAO yet, I suggest you to do so before reading this. This Omake pertains and plays with that specific chapter, so reading it first is advised.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Omake: G.M.R. (Game Master Rules)**

Sitting upon the infinite void that composed the cyberspace, analyzing the vast amounts of data at his disposal with speeds that would put even supercomputers to shame, Kayaba Akihiko silently took in the situation at hand, unblinking eyes marred with a hint of displeasure.

"This simply will not do…" He absentmindedly muttered, gaze fixed at the data streams regarding the battle that was happening at this very moment on Kuoh academy.

Initially he had been deeply pleased by the happenings that were taking place at the academy, for not only did the data he was able to acquire due Yui presence at the site present to him completely new venues of research, but seeing how far those touched by his world had progressed also gave him an undeniable feeling of pride.

But as the magnificent battle progressed one thing slowly became more and more clear, Kirito and his friends would not be able to overcome their opponent.

It was not a question of skill, ability or even determination; point in fact from all the data he had gathered they were actually superior to their opponent in all three categories. It was simply the fact that the black winged angel they were fighting against was far too powerful.

It was the same harsh truth that determined that a level twenty player would always lose to another player whose level was around ninety; the power gap being simply too great to be bridged by skill alone.

But despite all that they were still putting an impressive fight, skill and abilities, magical attacks and underhanded tricks, all mixed up with expert coordination in order to try and take down an impossible opponent.

Looking at the sight of Kirito, transformed into a perfect representation of the floor boss of the seventy-fourth floor of Aincrad, delivering punishing blows against their opponent, while Asuna nimbly darted around his massive frame, always moving while delivering precision strikes at any and all openings, sometimes even using Kirito's massive transformed form as a platform to change directions, while all the others mixed their own attacks to the duo's efforts into a impressive display of power and coordination, he made his decision.

"Your path will not end here Kirito… not yet… not now…" He calmly declared as dozens of screens started to pop up all around him, the data streams increasing their speed until the entire void in which Kayaba resided seemed to glow with an inner light.

His ability to interact with the material world was normally limited, his powers being restrained to the digital world and what it could affect. But fortunately for him, at this very moment, resided within Kuoh academy a being that was a literal bridge between the physical and the digital realm.

"Confirming authorization code: Alpha, Zulu, ninety three, Tango, X-ray, fifty four, Omega; Initiating download sequence." He commanded his realm, the data that comprised it immediately bending to his will, rushing forward to do his bidding.

"Data transfer complete; all systems are green, Yggdrasil drive online, download confirmed." He stated, a pleased glint entering his eyes.

Allowing himself a deep satisfied smile he once again started to watch the unfolding battle, it was time to show this interloper the cost of interfering with the fruits of his dream.

"Admin access: enabled."

* * *

Cursing under her breath Rias sent a continuous stream of her power of destruction against the Fallen's massive light spears, her powers allowing her to stop them before he could destroy her Peerage members with the light constructs, at least for now.

The battle had initially seemed to go their way, her Peerage and their allies having taken down Kokabiel's lackeys with relative ease. For a moment she allowed herself to hope they wouldn't even need her brothers help in order to win.

It was an illusion that had lasted until Kokabiel himself had taken to the field.

The power the high leveled Fallen casually displayed was downright insane. Shrugging of attacks like they had no meaning and striking back with blows that could easily take them down in one hit if they were not careful.

All in all, she had to admit that it was downright impressive that they were still keeping up with the mad Fallen; if not for the fact that apparently both Asuna, Kirito and most of Argo's Peerage seemed to know exactly what to do in order to battle a enemy far stronger than themselves, coordinating their attacks, redirecting his attention and stalling him at key moments, giving them enough breathing room to keep up, Rias knew things would surely be over by now.

But it was still not enough for them to win; not her Power of Destruction or Akeno's lightning bolts, Hikari's flames or Argo's tricks, Issei's Sacred Gear or even Kirito's sudden transformation into a massive demonic beast with tremendous power; something she was going to extensively question her [Rook] about latter if they survived this, because, seriously, if that was what he came up with while unsupervised she had to intervene with his training sooner rather than latter; none of it was enough to take down the Fallen.

Gritting her teeth in anger as she once again blocked the rain of light spears that was coming down upon them, she watched helplessly as Kirito was thrown back due to a massive blow, his gargantuan form dissolving in an explosion of black flames as he fell to the ground.

"Kirito!" Asuna shouted, dashing to his side in an attempt to help him.

"You have done far better than I had hoped." Kokabiel said with a pleased sneer. "But I grow tired of this game. Begone!"

Watching with dawning horror as the Fallen summoned a veritable wall of light spears, each of them with enough power to level the academy; Rias closed her eyes, preparing herself for the end.

"Papa! Mama!" She heard Yui cry a moment before a deafening detonation shock the earth itself.

A moment later, when neither the expected pain of the attack nor a single trace of the shockwave such a massive detonation had to have produced showed themselves to her senses, she opened her eyes to see what had happened.

The sight before her eyes making her drop her mouth in astonishment a moment later.

A massive purple wall was standing between them and the blast, the hexagons that composed it apparently completely unscathed by the daunting attack they had just blocked.

And right in the middle of the wall, calmly floating seven feet above the ground, stood Yui. The small girl glaring at the Fallen surprised form, two words apparently floating right in front of her.

**[Immortal Object.]**

"You are not going to hurt them!" The black haired girl stated, rising her right arm as flames gathered around it, forming a massive great sword, easily over three times her own height.

Without another word Yui darted forward, flames surrounding her body as she swung the impossibly huge sword as if it weighted less than a feather, the light spear the Fallen had used to block the attack shattering immediately upon contact with the blade.

Watching the little black haired girl not only battle the 'Angel of the Stars' in equal grounding, but actually start to overpower him, each of her strikes easily breaching his defenses, while his own attacks did absolutely nothing to her but bring forth those same two words, Rias numbly wondered what had just happened.

Taking in the gobsmacked looks all around her she was at least mollified that it wasn't only her that was feeling that way, a feeling that lasted until she noticed that Kirito and Asuna, while looking surprised, were not looking confused, but where in fact sporting looks of recognition.

'_I'm definitely having a long talk with them after this is over.'_ Rias tiredly decided, all but ignoring the near continuous detonations that were happening up above.

* * *

Standing at the rooftop of a building at the very edged of Kuoh academy Vali Lucifer eagerly took in the sight before his eyes, his dark silver hair swinging in the breeze.

When he first had accepted this assignment he hadn't held much hope it would be anything more than an annoying chore. Intervening and taking down Kokabiel before he could kill a bunch of weaklings was hardly an interesting task after all.

All in all, the only upside of the mission was that he would be able to gauge his 'destined' rival, Ddraig's current chosen champion, for the Dragon Emperors endless duel.

Things had slightly changed for the better after his arrival, having been pleasantly surprised by the fight he had witnessed. They may have not been nearly at his level, but they had managed to hold the Fallen back for far longer than he had expected, showing some very nice skills and abilities while doing so.

Getting ready to intervene with the battle, while inwardly musing that he might not have to wait that long before he could enjoy a decent battle from the wielder of the Crimson Emperor after all, he was once again surprised.

Only this time the surprise was a whole lot more than just pleasant.

Watching the black haired girl easily demolishing Kokabiel with her humongous flaming sword, taking even the strongest attacks of the Fallen head-on without suffering even a single scratch, he couldn't help but allow an eager predatory smile to appear on his face.

"Forget the Crimson Emperor." He muttered to himself, excitement clear in his words as he stared at the black haired girl graceful moves.

"Now that! Is a worthy rival!" He decided, all but ignoring Albion's ramblings about things going off script.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Super Yui to the rescue!

Yeah, I did just give Yui her game master powers from her side story 'Morning Dew Girl', and she even gets a rival slash stalker out of the deal.

I felt that it would be a very amusing setting for an Omake, and in my opinion it developed nicely.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	13. Chapter 13 - Teacher Trouble

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like to thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, this idea was originally suggested by EvanderAdvent. He asked for a story that depicted Klein's struggles as a teacher and the inevitable shenanigans that would ensue, so here it is.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

* * *

**Teacher Trouble**

Klein was having an extremely pleasant dream, the warm comfortable confines of his very large bed calmly cradling him as he slept.

Regrettably for the reincarnated Devil his peace and quite was suddenly shattered as a loud and obnoxious shrill sound made itself known throughout the entirety of the apartment where he lived.

Half awake due to the infernal racket the cursed object close to his head was making, Klein took the only appropriate course of action that could be found in such a situation, hitting the damned object with a quick swing of his arm containing as much of his strength as he could put into the motion.

Regrettably for him despite sending the offending object sailing through the air with impressive velocity until it hit the far wall of the room with a resounding thump, such action did absolutely nothing to stop the still ongoing ringing noise.

His response to the continued racket was to blast the dammed thing with the fireball spell that Lizbeth had finally browbeaten him into learning, saying he needed some kind of ranged offence capability.

The fireball hit the far side of his room with a deeply satisfying booming noise, but that apparently was not enough, as the annoying noise still remained as strong as ever.

Throwing away his blankets and slowly rising from the bed the [Pawn] gave the completely unscathed alarm clock resting on the blackened and cracked ground on the other side of the room a deeply annoyed glare.

"I knew that there was something odd going on when Argo offered buying the appliances for the apartment." He grumbled as he got up and dragged himself towards the apparently extremely durable alarm clock."Next thing I know, I find out the fridge can double as a bunker."

Grabbing the annoying piece of equipment he turned the alarm off, only to let out a long pained groan upon seeing that the device was reading six am.

"And what kind of sick sadist decided starting classes at seven in the morning was a good idea?"

Despite his complaints he started to get ready for the day, knowing that being late for his first day as a teacher of the prestigious Kuoh Academy would only manage to get Argo on his case, and considering the apparently indestructible alarm clock, she would probably get creative with motivating him, hell she probably already had plans drawn out for just such an eventuality.

She may be a Devil by birth, but sometimes, he seriously wondered about his [King's] hobbies.

"I need coffee." He stated with finality, deciding it was way too early for so much thinking.

* * *

Five cups of strong Joe latter, and having finally moved past the zombie phase of waking up, Klein was following the Principal of the academy through its luxurious halls, listening to the stern looking woman talking about his duties.

"The physical education curriculum has an obvious scope and sequence, based on goals and objectives that are appropriate for all students and that are derived from the national standards." She said to her unenthused audience, while calmly adjusting her glasses. "It includes motor skill development, physiological and biomechanical concepts, health enhancing physical activities, the promotion of a physically active lifestyle, and opportunities to develop appropriate social behaviors."

'_Geez, what happened with having fun while playing some sports?'_ He silently wondered, remembering that back when he was a student PE was basically another free period, where one could play some ball with the other kids.

"Most of the time you will be in charge of teaching health and PE classes during the day, the duration of the classes being of an hour and a half. Other duties that you may have to partake in during the day are duties such as after school monitoring of students, lunch, hall, and bus duties. And, of course you will need to attend faculty and parent-teacher conference meetings throughout the year."

Hearing the growing list of chores he was supposed to do he idly wondered for a moment exactly why he had agreed to this in the first place, that is until he remembered the huge bonus that Argo had offered him for doing so.

"We are understandably quite proud of the standards we have managed to achieve in the past few years, and count on your best efforts to help us improve even further, but of course for someone with your impressive resume that should not be a problem."

The woman calmly stated with a firm nod, her words causing Klein to smile sheepishly while inwardly musing about exactly what Argo could have put inside said resume, since last he checked he had no idea what the principal was even talking about.

"Here is your office, all the information you may require regarding the facilities and the expected activities can also be found within its archives." She said opening a door to a spotlessly clean room near the gym, a pair of massive metal archive storage drawers set beneath the large windows.

"We understand that it shall take some time for you to draw and appropriate lesson plan, but for now we would appreciate if you could keep up with the current practices until the end of the month. Last I checked it revolves around calisthenics exercises and increasing their aerobic capabilities."

Mechanically nodding his head he stopped for a moment to try and remember what the hell a calisthenics exercise could possibly be, inwardly musing that at least he knew what aerobic capabilities meant and how to deal with that.

'_Guess the kids will be playing dodge ball this week.' _He decided while checking out his office.

"We are looking forward to working with you Klein-san, have a nice day."

* * *

Slowly moving from the sports field towards his office Klein decided that with the exception of the ungodly starting hours it wasn't such a bad job after all.

Sure some of the kids had given him strange looks when apparently he hadn't started drilling them like some kind of military sergeant, but in the end they had apparently enjoyed the game he had then do all the same.

But while he was passing right next to the gym a familiar sound made itself know to his ears, stopping him on his tracks, the sound of loud giggling.

Following it towards the side of the building he simply stopped and stared, as he watched his fellow [Pawn] and two other boys blatantly peeking into the girls changing room through one of the room's windows, all three boys just standing there in plain view.

"What do you think you are doing Issei?" He seriously asked while approaching the trio.

"Sensei! It's not what it looks like!" One of Issei's two friends frantically said, while the reincarnated Devil simply gave Klein an sheepish smile and the glasses wearing boy at his other side gulped nervously.

"What do you think you are doing peeking at the girls changing room right in the open like this? Are you out of your freaking mind?" He stated with a frown upon his face, making the perverted trio to trade nervous looks.

"Why are you using such a blatant peeking spot? That's simply asking for a beating from the girls!"

"What?" Issei asked in confusion, unknowingly giving voice to his two friends' bewilderment as well.

"Seriously don't you guys know anything? There is no way I was that dense when I was your age." He stated while moving a hand through his hair in aggravation.

"Listen kid, and listen well, every changing room, swimming pool or hot spring has an immediately obvious and easily accessible peeking spot, but what you need to know is that very same spot is a trap. A hidden pitfall whose only purpose is to lead unwary souls into an ambush point from which there is no escape, don't be one of those poor unfortunate souls!" He stated in a sagely manner, arms crossed before his chest and head nodding in punctuation to his words.

"You got to keep in mind that there is always an alternate spot, a hidden haven from where you can still appreciate the treasures hidden within, while avoiding the fiery wrath of feminine fury!" He finished, giving then a long hard look. "Sit don't and listen up kids, since it's clear you still got much to learn about the ways of the world."

Issei, Motohama and Matsuda, also know within academy grounds as the Perverted Trio, traded meaningful looks, exchanging nods of agreement before sitting upon the ground in seiza and turned eager eyes towards the Devil teacher that stood before them.

"Hai, Sensei!" The trio chorused in unison.

* * *

Walking through the corridors of the second floor of the academy main building, Kuoh's Principal stopped near one of the corridor windows to take in the sight down bellow, her stern gaze taking in a pleased tint.

Near the gym changing room the new teacher was standing in front of the three greatest problem students of the entire academy, and while it was too far away to hear what he was saying, it was still extremely clear that he was lecturing the Perverted Trio as they sat seiza on the ground in front of him.

Nodding her head in silent approval at the new teacher's actions she restarted her track to her office.

Perhaps now those three would actually learn something.

* * *

**Authors Notes:**

EvanderAdvent, had suggested that since Klein had no prior training and no experience for the role of a teacher he would definitely struggle while doing so since he would have no idea what he was supposed to be doing, and that it was a good place for some old fashioned regular hijinks without supernatural forces involved.

I couldn't help but agree, and after some thought decided that it would be interesting to see if I could make a more Slice of Life type story with the idea.

But while working on it I remembered my earlier statement of the similarities between Issei and Klein in being perverts, so in the end I thought, why not make him a unofficial sensei to the perverted trio, and that led to this side story; hopefully it turned out all right.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	14. Chapter 14 - Devil of Zero

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like to thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, this little idea lodged itself inside my mind and wouldn't leave me alone, so here it is, hope you all enjoy it.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

**\V/**

**Omake: Devil of Zero**

The sun had risen bright and clear, the weather absolutely perfect, as if a gift from the heavens themselves towards what would soon be a truly monumental day for the many young mages that had gathered within one of Tristania's Academy of Magic many courtyards.

It was the morning of the Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual, the day upon which the young mages of this new generation would call forth their familiars, a sacred right bestowed to all mages, and a sign they were ready to take their first true steep in their journey towards honing the gifts of their bloodlines, a truly momentous occasion in the life of any young noble.

And yet, despite the perfect weather, one particular student couldn't help but feel as if a leaden weight had been placed inside her stomach, dread filing her entire being even as she silently repeated the incantation she would soon have to perform over and over, all her formidable willpower geared towards fighting back the mounting panic that was threatening to overwhelm her.

Louise Françoise le Blanc de La Vallière could barely keep up the façade of calm she was currently sporting as she waited for the moment of truth, as student after student stepped forward, successfully summoning their familiars with shouts of joy, bringing her closer and closer to either her salvation of her destruction.

"So Vallière, ready for the big moment?" A far too cheerful voice called from behind her, as a mocha skinned girl with lustrous, long, red hair, calmly approached Louise, a playful grin on her face.

"Zerbst." Louise curtly said in lieu of a greeting, her mounting dread being swiftly replaced with irritation, as her self-proclaimed rival approached, hips swaying from side to side in such a manner that her bountiful assets seemed to nearly spill out of her scandalously unbuttoned uniform.

"Now, now Vallière, there is no need to be so dull today of all days." Kirche von Zerbst said through pouting lips. "After all today is the Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual! Surely you can work up a bit more enthusiasm!"

Trying to ignore her unwanted companion, Louise turned her gaze to the next summoner. It was a small, petite, blue haired girl, wearing a pair of thick reading glasses, Zerbst closest friend and one of the few people Louise thought tolerable amidst her peers, Tabitha.

A blinding flash of light covered the courtyard as the blue haired girl finished her summoning, blinking her eyes Louise tried to see what had been summoned, only to gasp as she took in the small blue haired girl's familiar, as its sleek, graceful body, covered in fine azure scales, came into view as the light of the summoning died out.

A dragon, a real dragon! Tabitha had summoned a dragon, one of the most powerful familiars in existence and a sure sign of a very strong mage.

"Tabitha, quickly, complete the summoning!" Colbert called, staff half raised in case the dragon proved itself aggressive.

The small girl was already ahead of him, calmly approaching the large flying lizard, which had lowered its head in order to better see her. Softly placing a hand at the very tip of the creature's nose, Tabitha said something softly before kissing it between the eyes, the dragon warbling softly as runes etched themselves in its skin.

Looking on with barely hidden amazement she watched as the quiet girl silently climbed upon the now squatting down dragon, before summoner and familiar took to the skies, paying the whole class absolutely no mind.

"Kirche von Zerbst please come forward." Colbert said, cutting out the excited mutterings Tabitha's summoning had caused.

"I'm looking forward to seeing your best efforts today, Louise." Kirche playfully said, hips swaying with each step as she moved towards the professor. "Can't have my rival failing in holding up her side of things after all."

Gritting her teeth in annoyance, hands all but crunching her wand, her earlier fear and doubt all but forgotten in face of her rival's taunts, Louise focused once again at the spell she would soon be called to perform.

She would show that damn Zerbest! She would summon the greatest familiar of them all! There would be no room for failure, she would succeed no matter what! Or her name wasn't Louise Françoise le Blanc de La Vallière!

**\V/**

Calmly laying down amidst the grass in the courtyard of one of Rias's family's many mansions, Kirito relaxed, appreciating the spring breeze, enjoying the peace and quiet for what felt like the first time in months.

After dealing with what looked like one crisis after another for years, varying from psychotic Stray Devils, remnants from the Old Maou faction, crazy reincarnated heroes, oblivious Dragon-gods with anger management issues, and a world ending monstrosity, things were finally calming down.

Oh sure, the whole string of messes had actually allowed both him and Issei to ascend to the ranking of High Class Devils in record time, mere years after being reincarnated as Devils, but, honestly speaking, he much preferred to simply kick back and relax.

And the last month had been perfect for that, having nothing more exciting than training and a few jobs for the odd summoner that required his services happening.

'_And speaking of summoners…'_ Kirito idly though while still laying down in the grass, eyes closed, as a faint voice entered his ears.

"My servant that dwells somewhere in this vast universe."

Opening one eye he looked at the source of the voice, a blue, shimmering, oval, floating in the air less than a meter from where he was laying down.

"Well that's new." The black clad figure idly mused, curiously looking at the glowing blue portal that had appeared before him. It was clearly some kind of summoning, of that he was certain. And yet, he couldn't ever remember any summoning that had looked quite like that.

"My divine, beautiful, powerful servant, heed my call."

Paying attention to the voice, the caster was undoubtedly female, and young too if he were to hazard a guess, which was surprising in itself considering that whoever was attempting to summon him, clearly wasn't using one of the premade summoning circles normal summoners used in order to contract a Devil.

Which meant that whoever this young mage was, she was both strong and experienced enough to create her own summoning spell, despite her young age.

'_Impressive.'_ Kirito though, half rising his body into a sitting position, both eyes looking at the shimmering portal, his curiosity piqued.

"I wish from the very bottom of my heart and add to my guidance and appear."

Rising to his feet, his hands calmly dusting away his black trench coat, he wondered if he should answer or not.

In one hand, this could easily lead to trouble, since it wasn't a pre approved circle it could literally dump him practically anywhere and he would only find out his destination after arriving.

But in the other, now that he thought about it, he was really kinda of bored and had nothing better to do.

'_What's the worst that could happen.'_ He jokingly thought, quickly typing a message telling Asuna he was answering a summons and checking to see if all his equipment was still on his person.

With a nod of acknowledgment he step through the shimmering portal, a small playful smile firm upon his face, wondering exactly what he would find.

Only to be met up with a dense cloud of smoke upon exiting the circle, visibility nonexistent, as black clouds of smoke covered every single cardinal direction around him, forcing him to hold down his breath lest he inhale the smoke.

For a moment he tensed, wondering if this could be an ambush of some kind, only to notice the various young voices talking past the smoke. Focusing on them he realize that they were shouting jabs and taunts at someone for apparently messing up a spell.

'_Guess this was a little too advanced for her after all.'_ He mused with a small smile, coming to the conclusion that his summoner almost hadn't managed to keep the summoning spell going long enough for him to arrive, causing an explosion as the spell destabilized.

Relaxing his muscles Kirito calmly called forth his large, black, leathery wings, flexing then with a mighty flap in order to blow the smoke away, enabling him to see who had summoned him.

Raising an eyebrow upon seeing the dozens of robed young magicians standing in front of him, the older mage standing a little closer, and the pink haired little girl who was standing mere meters away, Kirito calmly analyzed his surroundings.

He was in the courtyard of some sort of castle, magic all but radiating from the air all around him, and a dozen of creatures, varying from the mundane to the exotic, standing alongside the bewildered looking young mages.

'_Interesting.'_ He thought, gaze wandering to the pink haired girl whose aura matched to the one that had summoned him, idly noticing that she was the only young one who didn't have an animal with her. _'Very interesting'_.

"Greetings, my name is Kirito and I'm a Devil." He intoned the familiar words, lightly bowing his head and his left hand resting upon his chest, looking the perplexed summoner straight in the eyes. "Why have you summoned me?"

**\V/**

Coughing out a lungful of smoke Louise had to fight back the tears of frustration that were threatening to fall down from her eyes.

This simply couldn't be happening, she knew the spell by heart, had memorize all pertinent information regarding the ritual, intoned the spell words perfectly, it simply shouldn't be possible for it to fail.

And yet, as she stared at the results of her latest explosion, she couldn't deny that, somehow, it apparently had.

Using all her will to hold herself together, instead of collapsing into a weeping wreck as her feelings were telling her to do, Louise kept staring at the rising smoke cloud which had resulted from her attempted summoning, an indifferent mask hiding her hurt feelings as her classmates jabbed and taunted her for her latest failure, calling her that Brimir accursed name.

Louise the Zero.

Taking in their spiteful faces, she fought to keep her emotions in check, Kirche neutral silent look and Professor Colbert sad sympathetic face nearly overcoming her control for a moment.

But before she was truly overcome by her feelings of failure, a sudden gust of wind blew away the still lingering smoke from her explosion, revealing a shape standing inside the crater she had created.

Realizing that she HAD summoned something Louise was overcome with a sudden burst excitement, euphoric with the knowledge that she was not a failure, that she WAS a mage. Her excitement was short lived though, being swiftly replaced with disappointment and embarrassment as she took in the fact she had somehow, apparently, summoned a commoner of all things.

Black hair and black eyes, in a pale androgynous face, a lithe athletic body covered with a long black overcoat, Louise could not deny it was undoubtedly a commoner.

A mage's familiar was supposedly a way to show said mage's element and true potential, so what did it mean about HER that her familiar was a commoner of all things!

The fact that Zerbst had summoned a Salamander was only rubbing salt in her wounds, the shameless harlot had an extremely strong familiar, while she had absolutely nothing, while she, was still a zero.

Bracing herself for the jeers and taunts she knew would soon be coming, Louise once again pushed her boiling emotions deep down. She was a member of the La Vallièrie family and she would not shame that by showing weakness.

After a moment of silence passed she looked again towards the students standing all around her, wondering why they weren't saying anything, only to notice the look on their faces.

They were not sporting the looks of contempt or sadistic glee she had grown accustomed to, instead they were sporting looks of unrestrained shock, including Zerbst and Professor Colbert.

Following their shocked gazes towards her familiar Louise stopped in shock herself, her mouth suddenly dry, as she took in a feature she had previously overlooked upon noticing her familiar's human appearance.

Said feature being the pair of black, leathery, bat like wings sprouting from his back.

"Greetings, my name is Kirito and I'm a Devil." The mythological creature standing before her said while giving her a small, courtly bow, a pleasant smile upon his androgynous features. "Why have you summoned me?"

Gaping in shock at what the being in front of her had just said Louise frenzied thoughts could only fix upon one thing.

She, Louise Françoise le Blanc de La Vallière, daughter of the grand house of the La Vallière and noble of Tristania, had just summoned a Devil.

**\V/**

**Author's Notes:**

So this particular Omake side story follows the idea that Louise from 'Familiar of Zero' summons Devil Kirito from after the end of 'Devil Arts Online' and all the shenanigans that would ensue from that.

Ps: **I don't own "Familiar of Zero" either.**

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	15. Chapter 15 - Justice and Love III

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, with this we shall continue with Mil-tan adventures on ALO. Personally I really enjoyed this chapter, but I wonder if you can guess who the newest player is before the reveal at the end of the chapter?

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

**\V/**

**Justice and Love Shall Always Win III**

"Spread out! Don't let her escape!" A loud shout reverberated through the moonless night as dozens of crimson armored figures rushed forth through the ruined fortress stone corridors, the heavy clinking noise of ringing plate mail resounding through the darkness.

"All the lower levels have been cleared sir!" An crimson armored figured reported as he climbed up the circular stairs. "And the third squadron is keeping it's overmatch in the sky, no one has left the building!"

"Excellent! She has to be here then, that loathsome thief will not escape us again!" Their leader proudly proclaimed, an predatory smile clear beneath his helmet. "Search this level room for room if you must! It's time we teach her why not one messes with the Salamanders!"

Shouting back cries of agreement the Salamanders divided themselves into groups of four, three knights and a mage each, before starting to knock down door after door, searching for their illusive prey.

Shouts of all clear were passed along the ruined building, the tension amidst the Salamanders growing with each room that was found empty. Until finally only a single room remained.

Motioning for the team about to breach the door to wait, the leader of the squad signaled for their whole party to gather close and prepare to rush forth, all twenty of them.

Trading an anticipating grin with his second in command he kicked down the door and rushed into the large room, his men following behind him with an excited war-cry, ready to overwhelm the foolish interloper that had dared to steal from the Salamanders and make her pay for her crimes.

They rushed into the large dilapidated dining room, before stopping amidst the broken chairs and rotting table, eyes scanning the apparently empty space, fruitlessly searching for their prey amidst the slight dark-purple mist that was filling the room.

"She escaped!" Their leader spat out in anger, bringing down his large broadsword against a chair, turning it into splinters. "I'm going to kill Fireblade! His squad should have alerted us the moment she left the building!"

Most of his followers started to murmur their agreement before a playful voice, coming from right amidst them, cut out their ramblings.

"You Salamanders are always so violent-nya." A figure clad in black robes, and hood raised upon her head hiding her features, cheerfully stated while standing right behind the Salamander commander. "You boys should really learn to loosen up-nya."

Not wasting a single moment responding to her words he turned around, blade already swinging, swiftly cutting through the swirling mist, only for his blade to meet no resistance as it passed through empty air.

"If you want I could even help you relax a little-nya." The hooded figure playfully whispered into his ear, small delicate hands sneaking around his armored chest from behind him. "Wouldn't you like that-nya?"

Two spears dashed forth from each of his sides, as his soldiers finally reacted to their enemy's presence, only for the spear tips to meet no more resistance than their commander's previous strike.

"Form up! Don't let her sneak upon us!" He shouted, making his squad take up a circular formation at the center of the room, shields forward, blades poking out all around them and mages at the center, as he searched for their elusive opponent.

And yet, despite the fact that he and his subordinates were frantically scanning the entire room from all angles, and said room utter lack of hiding spots, their opponent was simply nowhere to be seen.

"Show yourself you coward!" He shouted in anger and frustration. "Enough of your pathetic games, come forth and face our blades!"

"If that's how you want to play, then who am I to deny you-nya." The playful voice said as its owner seemed to appear out of nowhere into a pale ray of moonlight that was entering through one of the rooms narrow windows.

She was clad in a pure black hooded robe that covered her from head to toe, hints of its vivid blood red interior showing from where it parted on the front, a bright golden obi appearing amidst its concealing darkness, her pale delicate mouth the only part of her face that was visible, showcasing the large fanged grin she was sporting.

"But I must say, I hoped for a little more entertainment from the famed commander Ryu of the Salamanders-nya." She stated while raising a dainty hand towards her cheek, as if bemoaning said fact, completely uncaring of the fact that twenty salamanders were slowly surrounding her, cautiously approaching through the thickening mist.

"Dark Melody, you are guilty of stealing from the General Eugene himself, surrender now and your end shall be swift." The now identified Ryu ordered, an victorious smirk clear upon his features as he pointed his blade towards her. "You are completely surrounded, there is no way for you to escape."

"You are not that bright, are you-nya?" She curiously asked, calmly moving towards Ryu, her hips swaying with every step. "Most would at least question why this is the only room in the building that is filled with mist you know-nya?"

Slowly caressing the now paralyze form of the Salamander commander as the poison that she had mixed with the mist took effect, she all but draped herself upon him, a large mischievous smirk clear upon her features.

"Better luck next time-nya." She cheerfully stated, giving him a playful little peck on the cheek before calmly strolling out of the room, leaving behind the paralyzed, now absolutely furious, Salamnader commander and his troops.

**\V/**

"You do remember that the Glistering Caves are in the Gnome territory right? Deep inside the frost area?" Recon calmly asked while walking behind his new party member.

"But of course Mil-tan remembers-nyou! How could I forget when Recon-kun so graciously offered to guide Mil-tan there-nyou!" _She_ cheerfully declared, stopping walking for a moment to twirl around and gift him with a beaming smile, sparkles somehow appearing onto the background for a moment.

"Just confirming, don't worry about it." Recon quickly stated, cheeks aglow as he averted his eyes from the utterly adorable sight standing before him, and restarted to walk.

Restarted to walk through the sandy terrain they were now traversing, deep into the desert area and at the exact opposite cardinal point in the world from where they should have been going.

It had been only a few days since he had partnered with the cheerful Magical-_girl_ after _she_ had saved him from Sigurd's ambush, and during that time he had learned some things about his new friend and travel companion.

Chiefly amidst those discoveries being that _she_ had absolutely no sense of direction, and that the magical-girl persona _she_ most devotedly followed simply would not allow _her_ to leave another person be in a time of need.

For in _her_ own words, Justice and Love could not be denied, and so had to help all innocents in their time of need.

And while he inwardly thought that it was an admirable, and really cute too, trait for her to adopt for _her_ game persona, the fact that _she_ attributed this to the NPCs as well, coupled with the fact that most NPCs given quests sounded like pleas for help in the first place, meant that they ended up going in completely random directions at the drop of a hat in order to complete said quests.

And adding that with _her_ extreme lack of a sense of direction was the reason why they were now deep inside Salamander territory, and not, say, heading north towards their destination.

"She was sure grateful we found those sand-worm eggs, wasn't she Recon-nyou?" Mil-tan cheerfully asked while jumping upwards the sand rock outcropping that was ahead of them, climbing it with enviable ease.

Letting out a sigh as he remembered their latest quest, that had involved obtaining a extremely rare drop from an particularly vicious, high level, desert mob in order to prepare a medicine for a young NPC child, Recon started to climb the outcropping, with equal ease but far less grace than his companion.

"She sure was." He relied with a hint of a smile, Mil-tan infectious good mood fighting back the dour memories. "And that dagger that was the reward sure is something."

"Indeed-nyou. Normally doing the right thing should be its own reward, but to deny such a heartfelt gesture of thanks simply should not be done-nyou." _She_ happily agreed, turning around upon reaching the top of the rock formation and offering him a hand to help him up.

Fighting back a startled squeak as Mil-tan easily pulled him upwards with a single hand, while trying to avoid landing in an undignified pile, Recon was once again reminded of _her _apparently insane strength stat.

Exactly why an self proclaimed Magical-_girl _would focus on what he guessed was an extreme power and endurance build was beyond him, not to mention that up until this point he had yet to see _her_ cast a single spell, but considering the fact that _her_ peculiar character build was what had saved him from Sigurd and his Salamander lackeys Recon really couldn't complain.

An massive explosion coming from the other side of the rock formation they were now standing upon cut off his musings, head darting forward as he searched the area around them for the source of the sound and any possible threats.

"Forward noble Recon, someone is in trouble and needs our help-nyou!" Mil-tan firmly shouted, already darting towards the source of the noise, _her_ pink baton proudly raised above _her_ head. "Forward, for Love and Justice-nyou!"

"Mil-tan wait! We don't know what is hap…" He started before simply trailing off upon seeing the Magical-_girl _rushing of amidst the rocks, clearly not listening.

Sighing in resignation he darted after _her_, already drawing his new, high grade, dagger and preparing himself for trouble, knowing that, whatever it was that was happening, it would undoubtedly end up in a fight.

After all, another fact he was quickly learning about his new friend was that _she_ had all the diplomatic skills of a wrecking ball.

**\V/**

Stopping at the very edge of the rock formation, standing right beside Mil-tan, he took in the sight down below.

Over twenty Salamander knights and mages were surrounding a black robed woman, whom despite the staggering numerical disadvantage was actually holding her own quite well, dodging attacks by a hairsbreadth before counterattacking with jets of what looked like purple mist.

"Okay so the salamanders are hunting her down, now the question is, why?" Recon mused, turning to his partner in order to get her opinion, only to notice she was already gone, having literally hurled herself out of their perch and towards the battle down below.

"And she isn't listening again." He mumbled, swiftly following after Mil-tan, watching as the fight stopped for a moment due to the sudden cloud of dust Mil-tan had caused landing amidst them.

"Stop this instance evildoers-nyou! Mil-tan demands your surrender in the name of Justice and Love-nyou!" The Magical-_girl _proudly stated, twirling _her_ pink baton between _her_ hands for a moment before rising it high with _her_ right arm, _her_ left pointing towards the Salamanders, and left leg slightly raised and bent in a classical Magical-girl pose, sparkles enveloping the background.

Idly musing exactly how Mil-tan produced the AOE sparkle visual effect she seemed to love doing Recon reached ground level, positioning himself at the very edge of the battleground, ready to act if needed.

"Ganging up against an innocent maiden-nyou! Have you no shame-nyou!"

"Innocent maiden?!" The apparent leader of the Salamanders spat out in clear disgust. "This menace is guilty of stealing from General Eugene himself! So stand aside and let her face the consequences of her crimes!"

Looking at the robed figure with new eyes, while noticing her cat-like eyes that marked her as a Cait Sith, Recon wondered who would be crazy enough to steal from the supreme general of the Salamanders.

_'Well at least this won't involve us.'_ He thought with relief, thinking that Mil-tan sense of righteousness would not allow _her_ to aid a thief.

"Over twenty opponents against a frail maiden-nyou! Truly you are nothing but evildoers-nyou!" Mil-tan continued_ her_ impassioned speech, apparently not having listened to a single word _her_ opponent had said. "Prepare yourself to face the almighty righteousness of Justice and Love-nyou!"

'_This won't end well.'_ Recon inwardly bemoaned, facepalming as Mil-tan once again exploded into sparkles and all the salamanders simply stared, mouths hanging open at _her_ sparkling swirling form, while their leader turned red with anger, sputtering protests at being labeled an 'evildoer' for hunting down a thief.

"_She_ isn't listening to a single word they are saying, is _she_-nya?" An amused voice spoke from his side, a wondering tone clear on it.

"Nope." Recon replied in resignation, not even bothering to question how the dark clad figure had appeared at his side.

"Name is Recon by the way." He simply stated while taking a half crouched stance, ready to spring forth when, not if, diplomatic talks broke down. "And that is Mil-tan."

"Love Smasher-nyou!" Mil-tan shouted at the top of _her_ lungs, lunging towards the nearest salamander, crossing the distance between them in a single heartbeat, pink baton raised and ready to strike.

"Guess this makes it official, we are enemies with the Salamaders from now on." He said in resignation as the sound of shattering polygons filled the air, a tired sigh escaping from his lips.

"Dark Melody-nya." The player happily replied, dark purple mist seeming to gather around her hands as they watched Mil-tan rushing forth and start tearing the Salamanders apart like a wrecking ball. "Now let's go help _her_ out, shall we?"

Fighting back another sigh Recon rushed forth, dagger aglow with a wind enhancement, racing alongside twin jets of purple mist as he joined into the fray.

But even as he dodged a sword strike from an armored opponent, before ramming his new dagger straight at his throat, he couldn't help but allow a small rueful smile to surface.

After all, at least with Mil-tan around things were never boring.

**\V/**

**Author's Notes:**

And yes, confirming what the Highschool DxD fans have already most likely guessed, yes, Mil-tan newest party member is exactly who you think she is.

Kuroka, the SS rank Nekoshou Stray Devil and one of the Underwolrd's most wanted criminals has joined the party!

May Cardinal Sama have mercy upon poor Recon's soul.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


	16. Chapter 16 - Devil of Zero II

**Author's Notes:**

Firstly, as always, I would like to thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, I must say that this little idea had a far more positive response than I had ever expected initially. Pity I'm way too busy to add another main story with my other ones right now, but perhaps later on… food for thought.

For now enjoy the continuation of Kirito's little adventure in Halkegenia with our favorite explosive little pink haired noble.

Thirdly, happy Easter.

Lastly: **I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"**

**\V/**

**Omake: Devil of Zero II**

Louise Françoise le Blanc de La Vallière, proud daughter of the great house of the La Vallière and noble of Tristania, found herself all but frozen on the spot upon hearing what the being standing before her had just so nonchalantly said, her mouth hanging open in a most unladylike fashion.

But for once she couldn't care less about her image, of how others would perceive her current actions or how that would affect the proud name of her family. Her mind locked into a single inescapable fact.

She had just summoned a Devil for a Familiar.

A mythological being of darkness and corruption, a being that most considered nothing but a fairy tale, a way to teach both commoners and small children alike how to behave like civilized beings by using threats of fire and brimstone should they not behave themselves, a being that supposedly Brimir himself had to once battle against during his journeys, nearly losing his life in the endeavor.

A mage's Familiar supposedly reflected the mage's own potential, so what did that tell about her, that her familiar was a being whose very existence was a sacrilege to the sacred pentagon?

For that matter, she didn't even want to consider exactly what the Holy Church of Romalia would have to say in regards to this heresy. And that was not mentioning her mother and her 'Rule of Steel'.

'_Mother is going to kill me.'_ Louise silently despaired, a feeling of utter doom permeating her entire being as she thought how her extremely strict mother would react to this new development.

But before she could truly despair, her despondent train of thought was suddenly halted as a pair of deceptively strong feminine arms wrapped around her, crushing her against their owner's large voluptuous assets before rising Louise off her feet and cheerfully twirling her around.

"Oh Louise, I knew you had it in you!" Kirche von Zerbst happily chirped in while she twirled the smaller pink haired girl in place, a large grin firm on her face. "I knew that beneath that frigid Tristanian façade there burned the fierce flames of passion!"

"And so I, Kirche the Ardent, grant you my blessing in your first step of embracing your fiery heart!" The fire mage proudly declared, stopping spinning around to gift Kirito with a long appreciative look, her glinting eyes roaming his fit muscular body and a predatory smirk firm upon her face. "And also, may just I say that you have excellent taste my dear, a most excellent taste indeed."

Fighting off the germanian's unwanted hold upon her person, all the while her face turned crimson at what the shameless harlot was implying with her words, Louise swiftly turned around, ready to snap a scathing response to the damned Zerbst.

Only to be cut short as the Devil she had summoned took a step forward, an apologetic look upon his androgynous features.

"I apologize, but I don't usually accept those kinds of contracts." The black clad being firmly stated in a professional manner, a non judgmental look upon his face. "Thought if that is what you desire, I do know a few Devils who _do_ specialize in this kind of request."

Her mouth opening and closing without making a single sound, a perplexed look fixed upon her features as she turned wide eyes towards the politely smiling creature of darkness, Louise already crimson face swiftly turned lobster red, as she realized what her Familiar thought she had summoned him for and what his counteroffer contained.

"Oh my, you don't say?" Kirche asked in a fake coy manner, a hand daintily raised against her mouth, and a hungry look entering her eyes.

But before the germanian could say another word, a sudden feeling of power all but exploding right behind them cut her short, the ambient temperature rising dramatically in a single heartbeat as professor Colbert stepped right in front of them, putting his body between them and the Devil, flames surrounding his tightly gripped staff that was leveled against the still politely smiling creature of darkness, his usually gentle and kind features locked into a mask of fierce determination.

"Begone foul Demon! I shall not allow you to corrupt my students! In the name of Holy Brimir, leave this place at once!" He shouted as the temperature increased even further, the flames around his staff turning blue with heat and coiling along it, as if snakes ready to leap forward and strike.

"I'm a Devil actually, not a Demon. There is a difference you know?" Kirito nonchalantly replied, apparently unminding to the fact a square class fire mage was aiming a veritable firestorm against him. "And why so aggressive all of a sudden? You are the ones that summoned me here for a contract after all."

"You shall not take their souls beast! Disappear back into the abyss!" Colbert firmly replied, three snakes made of blue fire being launched forward with the speed of a musket's bullet, detonating with explosive force right upon the black clad creature still placid looking form.

Mouth agape in shock, Louise watched with wide eyes the billowing cloud of smoke rising from the massive crater, that put even the largest of her explosions craters to shame, part of her stunned mind idly wondering if having her Familiar blasted to smithereens by the overseeing professor before she could properly bond with it counted as a failed summons or not.

"You are really aggressive, did you know that?" The Devil still calmly polite voice said right at her side, making both her and Kirche to jump back in surprise.

Professor Colbert swiftly spun in place, flames relighting alongside his staff, only for his movements to be brought short as black shadowy tendrils sprung forth from his very shadow, binding him into place.

"And who said anything about claiming anyone's soul? You guys are magicians after all, don't you know how illegal that is?" Kirito asked to the professor who was now struggling against his bounds, his placid smile being replaced by a small frown. "Such practices were banished by the Four Great Satans ages ago for a reason, you know?"

"Man, it's like you have never even seen a Devil before!" He idly commented, scratching the back of his head as he leveled a bewildered look at the still struggling professor, only for a sudden look of realization to replace it a moment later, the Devil swiftly turning towards Louise.

"Excuse me mademoiselle, but you wouldn't happen to know when your magical community last had dealings with the underworld, would you?" He politely enquired in a respectful tone of voice, all but ignoring the still bound, struggling professor at his back.

"Ah… as far as our history texts go, after Holy Brimir defeated the dark legion, beating it back into the abyss, no one has even seen a Devil." Louise hesitantly replied, her mind struggling with both the sheer incredulity of her current situation, and with the fact a freaking Devil apparently had better manners and acted far more politely than over half the nobles she personally knew. "So, at least officially that is, probably somewhere around six thousand years?"

"Which would mean this Brimir person not only dealt with the Old Maou faction, but with the original Maous themselves." He said in a suddenly tired tone of voice, one hand massaging his brow as if to starve off a coming headache. "And let me guess, your religion also claims my kind to be some kind of vicious hell beast out for the souls of the innocent, or something like that?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Kirche chirped in from her side, a curious look on her face as she gazed at their demonic interloper.

"Yeah, that explains a lot." He concluded with a tired sigh, turning back to the still struggling professor and making the shadow tendrils holding him in place disappear with a snap of his fingers.

"It would seen we have started with the wrong foot due to faulty information from both sides, my apologies." The black clad being politely said, while giving the weary looking professor a small apologetic bow. "Please allow me to explain both myself and our current situation."

Absentmindedly pinching her arm in order to confirm that no, she wasn't dreaming this, and yes, this was really happening, Louise watched as the apparently quite civil heretical being of darkness and damnation she had summoned as a Familiar calmly explained, to an extremely wary professor Colbert and a throng of extremely curious young nobles, about the changes in policies that had happened in the Underworld in the last few millennia, and that no, they didn't steal souls anymore, there being apparently _laws_ against such things nowadays.

Watching as the professor wary expression slowly melted back into his usual eagerly interested look, as he delved deeper into the emerging discussion about the laws and culture of Devil society and how it had changed since the days of the Holy Founder, Louise wondered what the hell was exactly happening.

When Tabitha appeared out of nowhere with her Familiar, politely interjecting a question of her own, and how in Brimir's holy name did the petite wind mage manage to sneak up to them with said familiar with it being a freaking wagon sized, sapphire blue, dragon?

Louise Françoise le Blanc de La Vallière, proud daughter of the great house of the La Vallière and noble of Tristania, simply let out a tired sigh of resignation, all but surrendering to the ongoing madness, before stepping forward and asking what in the name of the sacred pentagon the Devil meant when he said she had summoned him for a _contract_.

**\V/**

**Author's Notes:**

You know, for a spur of the moment idea I simply wrote for the hell of it, I must admit that this little story is really growing on me, look forward to more chapters of Devil of Zero in the future.

Also let me reassure my readers that I'm about halfway done with the next chapter of DAO, so no worries there.

Ps: **I don't own "Familiar of Zero" either.**

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.


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